I’ve been grappling with how to put my thoughts into words
for this post all weekend. This topic is
one that I don’t take lightly and one that weighs on my conscience
heavily. You see, today is Memorial Day.
Last week my mom asked if we were interested in doing
anything for Memorial Day as in a barbecue or family dinner. I declined citing my regularly scheduled
Monday night classes. Of course, that’s
only part of the reason I wouldn’t want a barbecue.
Memorial Day was one of those holidays growing up that I
never fully understood I suppose. There
was innocence to it. It meant that I
didn’t have school and that school in fact was almost out for the summer. In high school it meant that there would be
an invitation for us band members to play at the cemetery. It meant that we would hopefully have decent
weather for all the events that would be scheduled for outdoors as the summer
season kicked off its shoes and basked in the light of the sun.
But that’s not what it’s really about.
This photo blog appeared in my news stream this
morning. These photographs bring gravity
to the day for me. They show
people. Soldiers yes, but people first
and foremost. People who, for the most
part, had no choice but to go into military service thanks to the draft. Some of course volunteered readily I am
sure. All of them did what was their
duty according to the expectation of the time.
However, these pictures ask us to look beyond the idealized and
romanticized concept of the hero soldier and to see the human in the
fatigues. The human who chanced to meet
Marilyn Monroe, the human who stared down the bell of a sousaphone and was not
deafened, the human in a moment of solitude taking a whack at the golf ball in
the open air and the humans finding time for a bit normalcy in video games in a
place that in no way represents what we here in America see on a normal day. However, for those in the military, these
images represent stolen moments of calm amongst otherwise horrific and
impossible situations.
A friend of mine who is in the military and who has served
multiple tours in the Middle East posted this snippet from The Blaze. My friend and his military buddies of course
were offended by the pundits’ discussion.
Unfortunately, I think my friend’s emotional gut reaction of how he sees
himself and his fellow service members interfered with his hearing the actual
discussion. The pundits aren’t trying to
insult the individuals. They aren’t
trying to demean in any way the job the military personnel are commanded to
do. It seems to me that these pundits
are attempting a conversation on the efficacy of a policy that is tossing about
a word that bears a tremendous force: hero.
For them, the panel members on this show, the word hero is losing its
significance because the nation has been in sustained conflicts for its longest
period in our history. Our national
policy has become one of war and devastation for the service members as well as
the civilians. The constant din of the
War Machine numbs us to the actuality of the war itself. The pundits may not be expressing themselves
very well and my friend and other military personnel may not listen beyond the
notion that these talking heads are reluctant to use the word hero to describe
the military, but the point is important.
We’ve been doing this war thing so long that we are becoming
desensitized to what it all means. We’ve
created countless heroes; so many that the word itself no longer holds the
impact or meaning that it once did. We
lack the words to describe the countless deaths of soldiers both on foreign
soil and at home. We lack an accurate
word for a man whose vehicle is blown up as he drives along a desert road. We lack an accurate word for the woman hit by
a stray bullet. We lack a word for human
lost in despair from all that still toils inside even though the tour of duty
ended. Hero used to connote something,
but because of the constancy of overseas entanglements we run the risk of losing
that meaning. Perpetuating the hero archetype
seems to lead to condoning the act of war—condoning the act of putting soldiers
and civilians alike in positions of intolerable cruelty where they lose their
humanity bit by bit.
Think I’m wrong?
Recently a top military officer unleashed a firestorm for calling the
suicides by military personnel selfish.
I used to think that suicide was selfish. It was one way I could keep myself from committing
suicide because to me, I didn’t want to be selfish. I didn’t think of myself as selfish. Somehow, I don’t think the military men and
women thought of themselves as selfish either. I find it difficult to believe that these
individuals would have thought about suicide if they had not first been in a
position of war. I cannot fathom the torturous moments these people endured
both in war and at home. I know my
cousin returned home from the first Iraqi war changed. Not only did he display symptoms of the nebulous
Gulf War Syndrome, but his wife would frequently find him shaking
uncontrollably under the bed. Sometimes
he’d scream out in his sleep. A friend
of mine struggles to maintain his every day life after serving in the current
Middle East conflict. His Post Traumatic
Stress impedes his ability to live a life of quiet contentment. It disrupts his family’s sense of unity. He is forever a changed man. Numerous stories exist about the human cost of war. These real stories run counter
to the idealized hero soldier we who never go to war want to believe in so
deeply. They question that iconic coming home and feeling safe once again in the knowledge that what was achieved served a greater purpose and all is right now that the soldier is home. These men and women have lived
through an ordeal none can fully appreciate unless we’ve been there ourselves. The image of hero is changing.
I suppose that is what is so devastating. We want to hold up these individuals for the duty
they have performed. We want to
celebrate them for doing something few of us want to do. We want them to know on the one hand we value
them and that we remember, but what do
we really remember? If we knew all about
PTSD and suicide rates of soldiers would we be so cavalier about allowing our elected officials to send more
humans into battle and think that a parade and a “thank you” now and then is
enough? Calling them heroes—is that
enough to somehow be ok with the fallout?
I cannot help but think we as humans must evolve to another form of
settling our conflicts because if we keep going to war we will never fully
remember what that means.
Humans are resilient.
Humans are resourceful. Humans
are capable of fantastic feats of compassion, empathy, creation and
cooperation. When I remember our
military on this day, it is with sincere gratitude and hope that their ultimate
sacrifice will one day no longer be necessary.
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