To Harm and Harm Not

                Long time no blog.  Let’s just say that I have been quite successful at distracting myself with all kinds of other activities.  However, there is a topic that has been gnawing at me for a few weeks and I have been tossing it around in my noggin like some kind of chunky yet unsatisfying salad.  The issue arose a few weeks ago during a family dinner.  The idea proposed that thoughts could be harmful simply by thinking them. While I can see the point of view, I am not sure that I fully agree with this assertion.

                Can thought be harmful?  Absolutely.  I do believe that under certain circumstances thoughts can indeed become harmful.  For example, consider the typical stalker.  An average ordinary Joe sees a sweet young thing that captures his attention.  After a few creepy notes, heavy breathing phone calls and restraining orders Joe’s thoughts have clearly crossed boundaries into harm.  However, was it his initial thought that was harmful?  I don’t think so.  It was the obsession with the thought and the subsequent action Joe took that led to the harm.  Simply seeing the sweet young thing isn’t harmful in and of itself.  Furthermore there is the ultimate harmful thought: suicidal thought.  Again, simply pondering is not harming oneself.  I must admit that I have thought about suicide and what way I would do it.  Personally, I like the idea of pills.  Simply going to sleep sounds way better than many of the other choices.  Before you go calling for someone to do a wellness check on me, I am not suicidal.  However, I am prone to morbid thoughts after reading books or viewing a show that relates to the topic.  After watching CSI for example, I have to ponder why someone would follow through or why they opted to do the deed in that way.  Trying to understand the motivation for the action is not harmful.  I think it helps me to see a point of view that I don’t comprehend.  I think it is vital for someone to explore those darker currents of our world in order to appreciate life.  I have thought about suicide, but not in a serious context as in planning on when, where, how and what my note should say.  I do not think either of these scenarios as thought are harmful when taken by themselves. It seems to me that two important distinctions exist when evaluating the harmfulness of thought: how much time and energy is put into the thought and whether or not the thought leads to deed.

                Energy ties into the notion of obsession and compulsion in my book.  Think of our stalker Joe—his thought of the pretty young thing consumes him.  He feels an overwhelming need to be with her and imagines a whole other reality with his nymphet.  His reality of course is not real at all except in his mind.  That’s mental illness that leads to illegal and violent action.  Joe Stalker invests all his energy toward that thought.  This is not the same as simply thinking, “Hmmm, she’s really pretty” and going about your life. I think back on my Newt Gingrich post—is it harmful to think after reading a few articles where he likens me to all the evil that he sees in the world—“What a jackass!  I’d like to smack him alongside the head.”  I don’t think so.  I am human and therefore flawed.  I embrace my flawedness. I realize that once I have that gut reaction and I state my opinion fervently it’s over and done.  I go back to living my life such as it is until something else vexes me.  My thoughts are mine and as long as they don’t cross over into action, I think to deny that heightened emotion state is actually more harmful—you go toward repression then and that never leads anywhere healthy.  Now some days I am better at looking at the ridiculous statements people make about issues I find important and tossing my head back in laughter than others.  I’m not trying to be perfect.  I am not seeking a state of compassion for all humanity right away.  I think sometimes it takes a bit more effort and that is ok.  Grappling with the big issues and engaging the debate shows a use of the grey matter between our ears and that to me is not harmful.  It’s when we take violent action or don’t try to reason our way out of our anger and frustration that the harm takes root. 

                The simplest part of this argument to me is that thought is not action.  Period.  There is a considerable difference between me thinking of hitting someone alongside the head and me actually hitting someone alongside the head.  Using those critical thinking skills to consider the potential consequences of such an action is part of what makes us human and not a chimpanzee or some other primate cousin who solves problems by flinging poo.  Self control separates a mature adult from a tantrum-prone toddler.  We have several idioms in our language about harmful actions like, “I’m gonna kill you if you do that one more time.”  We don’t really mean it—it’s a figure of speech.  I understand that some world views say that we should greet all discord with love and compassion.  That’s a beautiful aspiration, but it’s not always practical.  I think you might be able to get to that state of enlightenment, but I also think that occasionally thinking, “if that guy doesn’t shut up I am gonna put my foot through his front teeth” is perfectly human and not harmful in and of itself.  It’s certainly not something I am going to lose sleep over.  It’s an emotional response that I will suppress and channel in another manner.  Acknowledging the frustration is important in order to maintain my self control and to figure out a way to manage the situation that doesn’t involve aggression. 

                Can thought be harmful?  Sure.  Can it be a red flag for us to take stock of our emotions before things get too out of hand?  Positively! However, I don’t want to live in a world view that wants me to feel guilty or says that I need to confess my all my questionable thoughts.  Hello!  Left Catholicism for a reason. My thoughts are mine and as long as they aren’t obsessive and/or don’t lead to harmful action, then I do not see harm.