Hair's the Thing

Have you indulged in Netflix's Stranger Things yet? We binged it yesterday despite the Netflix snafu that forced us to watch the last two episodes via the app on my husband's smartphone. In the series, a key character named Eleven, or El for short, has a shaved head. It's not bald mind you, just very closely shorn. I must admit, in the early episodes I mistook El for a boy, which was the intent mind you. The short hair, the nondescript clothing, and the lack of distinct female physical attributes like breasts and hips would make you think male at first. She looked a lot like a young Wil Wheaton honestly.

Seriously. Half inch hair and they could be twins from separate generations.

 As  I watched, my mind wondered a bit as to explore the gender stereotype of hair. I have for the last two years worn my hair in a pixie cut. It's actually barely longer than the girl in Stranger Things when it's just visited the salon, so why did I assume boy not girl?

Baby moose: boy or girl? You can't tell can you? Probably not important anyway.

I've been mistaken for a boy before, before I had breasts anyway. As a child, my hair was sometimes to my shoulders, but then Dorothy Hammill and the wedge became popular. Since I hated having my mom curl my hair and she I am sure did not enjoy arguing the point with me, I chopped my hair in grade school, and it has only a few times since then touched my shoulders.

This goat has longer locks than I ever did.

The first time I elected to grow out my hair, I was in college. My husband still clings to a picture of me with my red, soft curls that was taken on the day I graduated from college. I grew it out because I planned on a life in classical theater, which meant my hair needed to be versatile (i.e. long). I'd play with it from time to time--back in combs, ponytails, braids, or a twist. However, it never really felt like me. I was always waiting for another part so that it could mold into the character rather than mold into me.

Wigs of course were the other option. Oh joy. Hold me back from my enthusiasm.

After college, I began trimming it shorter and shorter. Eventually it was not long enough to even  remotely call it a bob, but more of a longish pixie.

This guinea pig? Still longer hair than mine.

I tried to grow it out again a few years ago. I made it to just above shoulder length. I could feel it graze my shoulders at times, but it still wasn't long enough to really be pulled back into something that was an authentic ponytail. My favorite styling technique was to use hair glue and scrunch my hair as I dried it. That gave it curl without rollers. However, it required so much effort. I grew tired of having to give over so much time to style my hair. Consequently, I cut it off again.

Just get the clippers, 'k?

Long hair to me is boring and time-consuming. I don't really feel like myself with long hair either. I grow disinterested in styling it, so I pull it back with ponytails or headbands. I grow annoyed at having to blow it dry in the mornings or having to somehow compensate the lack of fullness on the right side vs. the volume on the left (I sleep on my right side). I live in a very windy city, so the hair in my face and the knots from being whipped around are tiresome. I don't enjoy my husband accidentally pinning my hair under his arm during sex. I didn't enjoy waking up to a cat sleeping on my hair so a get a good yank at my roots first thing in the morning. Long hair and I simply don't get along well enough for me to consider having it. Therefore, it struck me as funny that I still assumed boy because El had such short hair. Of course, the director wanted the audience to assume boy so the face of El was often in shadows or at an indirect angle; it was intentional and I didn't question her gender until the other boys realized El was a girl and revealed it to us.

In retrospect, no. Not shocking.

It's interesting though how much society wants to reinforce gender roles through hair. On the one hand, characters in novels like Outlander have long, unruly hair both as men and women. If you watch Vikings, men and women both can have long hair. However, in the 1960s and 70s, men with long hair were the subject of ridicule and faced scorn from their own family. Over hair! How strange to look through history and then pause to consider the culture war of the hippie era. Bizarre. Women's hair though? Somewhat the opposite.

Probably a wig. Have you seen some of the decorations women were supposed to wear in their hair and wigs way back when? It's a wonder there weren't more neck injuries.

In the 1920's for example, bobbing one's hair was scandalous. In "Bernice Bobs Her Hair," a young woman chops her locks after being humiliated and goaded into seeking popularity and social acceptance by her cousin. While suggesting the cut and talking about it hypothetically brings Bernice some social gains, her jealous cousin forces her into actually taking action. The haircut results in an unflattering hairdo, the character is shunned, and before leaving, she exacts revenge on her meanie cousin care of a pair of scissors; a little turnabout is fair play. A bad haircut and regretting it afterward is a fear of many. I am always wary until I truly trust my stylist, which I fortunately do. However, in Fitzgerald's story, the bob makes the women ugly unlike Lady Mary's triumphant bob in Downton Abbey.

I said a little off the back. A little!

Women would also sell their hair for money at other times in history. Should they find themselves pregnant and/or without a means of supporting themselves, they could sell the hair. Short hair then was a sign of shame or poverty or perhaps even disease. Not exactly savory ideas for a woman. It seems a rather obvious way to identify and oppress a woman. After all, what did women have other than the ability to sell their bodies whether it be in parts or as a whole?

I'm sure that only happened in fiction...right?

Last weekend, I had a few days with two of my oldest and dearest friends. One of them inquired about my short hair. It's not terribly shorter than it was when she saw me last year, but she asked about it anyway. She had hair to her waist in college--long, thick, and a lovely blend of honey and red tones. Now she has it short, and it's usually a wild color like orange or blue. Anyway, she commented on how I've always had short hair, but she didn't recall me ever having so short for so long. I told her how I just don't have the patience for long hair now. I told her how much easier short hair is. It's truly wash and go. I absolutely love it short. She commented on how she missed having her own curtain to block out people by hiding behind her hair. I remember that, too. It could fall down around you almost like a protective shield.

Well, that's one way to avoid people I guess.

Another friend this week commented on how I continue to rock the short hair. I thanked her for the compliment. She's got shoulder length hair. In the time I've known her, she's had her hair to her waist, but she's also had it so short it had to be clippered in the back.

The real terms of their relationship revealed, Han and Chewie move to another star system and open the most successful hair salon in the universe.

From these two encounters, I get the impression that one may be considering short hair again; the other was actually needing a referral for another person who wanted a stylist good with short hair. Me though? I'm not inclined to grow mine out any time soon. Aside of the boredom and maintenance, I also don't want to hide anymore. I'm done hiding behind my hair. I am working really hard to live the life I choose under the terms that I believe with my whole body and mind.  Doing what I want with my hair is part of that.

Shaved kitteh is bringing sexy back.

While I choose to have short hair, El in Stranger Things did not. Her short hair served a darker purpose, although she did seem very uncomfortable with the long, blonde wig; perhaps she'd choose short hair anyway. El definitely made me stop and ponder though. Hair is part of how we project our identity, but rigid assumptions about hair and gender are oddly skewed and deeply ingrained. Perhaps as time goes by, we'll rely less and less on having to define ourselves as gender this and gender that based on appearances or something as mutable as hair length. Maybe.