Working It Out

I remember growing up that we'd sometimes do tumbling in elementary school PE. I actually liked this part of PE. Way better than those stupid rope climbing bullshit activities they'd sometimes make us do. Sometimes, we'd do that airplane move where you partner up and one person balances their hips on the other person's feet while that person is on  their back with their legs extended. I also recall doing this move with a friend of mine in a play where we were all an ensemble cast who were creating interesting tableaus while two people were acting out their scene. It was cool. I enjoyed it.

This was never me. Respect, young man. Respect.

Fast forward 30 years. Earlier this week, I amused myself with a read of a HuffPo article "The Best Workout For Your Zodiac Sign." This is what it said:

Gemini

Your sign in a nutshell: You hate monotony and gravitate toward workouts with a lot of variety. Friends play a big role—you’re incredibly social and love to work out with other people. That helps counteract your sometimes inconsistent nature, because you’ll show up if you know someone is waiting for you.

The workout for you: AcroYoga. This yoga variation involves working with a partner to get into poses ranging from simple to very complex, with you sometimes supporting their weight and vice versa. Working toward new poses will satisfy your need for change and your love of learning.

Run that by me again, please because I couldn't have understood you correctly.

Variety? Yes.

Incredibly social and love to work out with other people? Hells no! I finished PE requirements in high school and have no intention to revisit them in my adult life. The idea of a spin class sounds boring and being social during the class does not make it appeal any more to me. Talking and being social when I work out is also not of interest. If I'm going to work out, I am going to work out. Leave me be. I try to work out at home before my husband wakes up even so as not to have a witness or conversation while I sweat. In years past, I've tried working out at a gym made just for women. I also tried working out at the staff gym. Nope. Not for me.

Need for change and love of learning? You bet! I get that from belly dance and other avenues though. No need for more.

AcroYoga? Fascinating. It reminds me of the airplane game. I do yoga every morning thanks to a delightful YouTube channel, Strala at Home by Tara Stiles. She's fantastic and her routines are easy to follow, although I do not do any of the headstands. That's not something someone who had cervical vertebrae fusions should do in my book. My neurosurgeon concurs. However, my yoga time is my me time in the morning. I stretch and if I flub the movements no one sees me other than my cats. I can live with that. I'm not sure how I feel about duo yoga though.

No one needs to see me do this thanks.

Consequently, I posted this article and renounced its validity. However, two of my close friends asserted that number one, I do belly dance, so working out in front of people shouldn't be an issue. Another close friend asserted that I would likely enjoy AcroYoga and that she could see me doing it.

Bird says, "Nope."

I feel I must clarify that belly dance is not a gym type workout class. It's a dance class where we work on technique and precision of an artform. It is more like a rehearsal for a play than a kettlebell class. Seriously. Worlds apart in intention and gathering purpose. Our goal is not to get sweaty, toned, or to burn calories. It's to perfect movements and then use those movements to interpret music. It's artistry. While I concede that it is social as we've all become close to one another, and it is a weight bearing form of exercise according to physiology know-it-alls, it does not fit the description from the original article of my being "incredibly social" and loving "to work out with other people." If you asked the women in that class who've known me since I started, I don't think a single one would say that I am "incredibly social." After 9 years with some of them though, I have relaxed and gained some comfortability with them so they get to see my weird side from time to time.

Really, they don't mind the weirdness.

Now for my other friend's assertion that she could see me doing AcroYoga. Honestly, it's beautiful to watch. I found a YouTube video posted by Hagar Tsabar on June 15, 2013. The first thing that struck me about this video is the smile the woman gives the man right as she's moving into their first combined pose. That smile says it all about their relationship. If my husband wanted to do this, I would do it with him...if my neurosurgeon signed off on it. However, to just walk into a class cold and have to build that kind of trust with another person....not so much.

WTH? How cool is that?

There's a definite level of intimacy to the practice that I'm not so sure I want to explore with a stranger. Maybe a few years ago when I was in my 20's? Yeah, maybe then. Now I'm 42, riddled with a variety of physical maladies, and let's face it: curmudgeonly. Honestly, being that up close and personal with another person? Yowzer! This style of yoga is incredibly demanding of both people physically and emotionally. I hate starting down a path and being disappointed as I was in community theater for instance, but that's a different story.

I feel your disappointment, Yoda.

Anyway, to recap, being social does not motivate me to go work out in public. Belly dance has very little in common with working out with people in the traditional sense. AcroYoga is cool and people who do it deserve respect. However, after considering all arguments, I can't change my original reaction:

Oh sweet prince, you know me well.