Am I Witch Enough?

Am I witch enough? This question occurred to me yesterday as I sat with some lovely women discussing a potential Summer Solstice community celebration. We have a rough idea of what we want to do and plan of where to start and it all seems exciting. Except, after the initial meeting, I stayed around and listened to the discussion. As I listened, I realized that perhaps I am not witch enough for this group, or any coven/group for that matter.

That's right, Goat. I'm totally cool just doing the solo thing.

You see, I consider myself more atheist than Wiccan. I think of myself as more Pagan than Wiccan. If I feel the need for a ritual, I'll hold one. However, I'm really not that bogged down in dogma or tradition or much of anything really. I've kind of spent my time in the Wiccan community building my own spiritual path and cultivating my own needs and beliefs. What I've found is a total disbelief in any kind of deity. I have discovered a tremendous respect for the earth and its creatures as well as its landscapes. I believe science has the best possible answers to all of our mysteries of life and I feel no need to ascribe any of the natural world to a deity or hand of God/Goddess. Many would say this takes me out of the Wiccan realm altogether. As I listened yesterday, I realized that in this group, I also didn't have the right to lay claim to being a witch; as if it was some sort of new invention in need of a patent or something.

Um, no. I'm still pretty much with the whole pacifist thing.

Apparently the debate of witch versus Wiccan goes beyond whether Wiccans should accept or be insulted by the term witch. Some people are offended at the insinuation of being called witch rather than Wiccan. When I first heard of this debate, I considered as I do most things: rolling it over in my mind and meditating on it. I concluded that it didn't really matter which term you preferred, as long as you know why you chose the one you did. I don't care if people call me a witch, a Wiccan, a pagan, or a heathen for that matter, but these ladies take their wording seriously.

Oh my. If any of them looked at me this way, I'd run and hide in a salt circle.

My friend who is a women's studies scholar and Medicine Woman and true practitioner of the Craft seems to see a distinct line separating the two. One is heritage. She comes from a long line of Celtic tradition I believe and it is part of her ancestral blood. She also sees her working of magic (she may prefer magick, but I don't know) as legitimate and effective from what I've gathered. When we were discussing the Litha ritual plan, one asked if we should have a male participation. I thought that'd be great since it is the celebration of the sun's zenith of power. However, she shot this down without equivocation. I was a little taken aback. At one point, there was a remark made that those "baby Wiccans" should just leave and let the one's who practice the craft handle things. I sat back a bit and wondered if I was with the right group. There were males at our January full moon gathering. Why shouldn't one be included here and excuse me? Did you just call me a "baby Wiccan"?

Dafuq?

I was inclined to stop talking at all and really listen to what was being said. I felt at once on the defense and also a bit confused. No men in the circle. The comment made referred to how this has to be very female strong. Now I believe wholeheartedly in the women strong idea, but excluding anybody seems like something I'm just not down with. I left Catholicism because it was so oppressive of females and those in the LGBTQ community that I couldn't in good conscience stay.  To limit our participation based on gender seemed immediately wrong. If we were inviting the community to participate and witness and learn about our practice, then why would we exclude men? What about transgendered individuals? I know my friend is sympathetic to the trans community because of her step child. But does that not play into the ritual circle? Maybe their version of witchcraft was indeed different from mine. Different enough to be an issue? Perhaps.

Serenity now!

Prior to hearing all of this, I agreed to be the element of air in the circle. My theater voice and presence will really be an asset to the ceremony I suppose. I can get behind the elements since they are to be experienced and perceived. I know air exists and allows for untold inhabitants of the Earth to live.

 

Just because I know it exists doesn't mean it will do anything for me in or out of a sacred circle.

However, I feel a bit of a fraud. I don't have an ancestral claim to witchcraft, and I don't have a certificate or anything that shows my official status as a Wiccan; I never went through a coven training. I'm completely self-taught thanks to Scott Cunningham. I've thought and meditated and practiced so much that I've concluded that on a sabbat I can just be mindful of the day. I can eat certain foods if I want to call up the significance of the day. I can sit in the forest or along a lake or on my porch and read about the sabbat. I can light a candle or incense and let my mind wonder over all that I know about the day. I can bask in the moonlight or the sunlight (in full use of long sleeves, big hats, and zinc) or I can do nothing more than breathe deeply and recall that another notch on the wheel has turned. I suppose I'm fairly loosey-goosey about it. Maybe more so than any of them.
But it works for me. I can hold a circle and call upon the forces of nature and the elements of the earth and not invoke any God or Goddess or fairy or spirit. I don't think any of those are real, so why invoke a false construct?

Makes about as much as sense as doing that to a Big Mac.

Listening to them talk about their beliefs in the craft, I was not nodding along. I certainly was not accepting everything I heard. I was thinking quite critically about it all though. Who can truly claim the term of witch or Wiccan? I don't know. However, if I don't believe as they all seem to, then it feels somewhat wrong and maybe a little inappropriate to horn in on one of their rituals; especially one as deeply personal to their circle since it's the first public ritual they've ever done. Perhaps I should stick to the outside circle and let the inner circle perform their passion play. My atheistic paganism with Wiccan tendencies might not be witch enough.

That's right, Moose. Just collecting some wildflowers on Litha is enough for me.