I've written about prayer before. Then, I was still of the mindset that prayer filled a role in people's lives and perhaps even my own. However, I no longer see a purpose for it in my life. I don't have evidence of it ever working for me no matter who I prayed to. Furthermore, if circumstances changed after I prayed, I could see another logical explanation completely unrelated to my prayer. Honestly, I'd really like it everyone who prays for me would stop.
That's not what I meant, Goat. Get out of the road. Seriously, don't stop. Keep moving.
Last week I was discussing matters of the spiritual with my long time friends over what one of them deemed a "Friendcation". I brought up the story of my godfather and the "Your grandmother prayed every day for you to return to the church" and his assurance that he too hopes I will return one day. I stated that I'd much rather look at the situation as love me as I am or pray for me. I do see this as a choice between the two. One of my friends felt that permission was something her mother felt was important for prayer. The other thought that loving the way I am and praying for me don't have to be completely separate. In this case, I do.
Separation: Not just for eggs anymore.
One reason is because it's a bit like the addage "love the sinner, not the sin". Either way, the person is telling the other that he/she is a sinner. In this case, it's an "I love you, but not this part of you. Could you maybe change that?" Not really unconditional love there. Furthermore, prayer is usually to alleviate someone's suffering. So if someone prays for an alleviation of my lupus symptoms, OK. Can't stop you, but it's really pointless because proper management is the only way to alleviate that suffering. However, to pray for me to return to the church is not praying for an end to my suffering because trust me--not suffering over that choice. It's really praying to change who I am. That's not real good prayer in my view. Not only that, people who pray this way are not really praying to alleviate someone else's suffering, they are praying to alleviate their own suffering over someone else's life choice. Perhaps instead they should be praying for the understanding and acceptance rather than trying to change me or whoever they are praying for.
Thanks, RDJ. That means a lot.
In studying Wicca, it was important to obtain someone's permission before doing any spellwork for them. I see spellwork as an elaborate and full of intention type of prayer. Before I performed spellwork for someone, I asked. I thought it was polite and I respected if the other person declined. I would appreciate if others showed me the same respect. I suppose there's some of the ignorance is bliss in this notion. If they pray and don't tell me, how am I to know? I won't. I'd prefer they not do it at all, but if they must, just don't tell me. It won't impress me, make me feel better, or in anyway incur a sincere thank you. Just stop please.
By Jove! I hadn't thought of offering them cake! Well done, Doctor.
Over the years, I have prayed for others without permission. As a Catholic and then Methodist, I thought it was just something you did either to improve yourself or to improve the state of something/someone else. It was expected and accepted and respected, or so I thought. Now though, the point is lost on me and I do feel remorse for the prayers I ever said that were to change someone or were against their choice.
Oh, Hiddles. I'd forgive you just about anything.
As we move forward, learn more, and become seekers of a path through this life, views and perceptions change. I've grown farther away from Christianity, others grow closer over time. You want to be a believer, I won't pray for you not to be and I won't interfere with your practice of your faith so long as it doesn't interfere with my rights. If only we could let those we love change and grow without trying to hide shame and judgement as prayer. Maybe we'll get there, but probably not in my lifetime.
You're right, Moose. The tough part is looking at myself and being sure to love them for who they are, too.
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