I'm sure I'm not the only one who sits and casually daydreams about the places she'd like to go if given the opportunity. I would love to go to the British Isles, New Zealand, and Alaska. Those three destinations have always held a place in my travel dreams; Iceland has been sneaking onto the list lately, too. One place I never really saw myself going or even considered in the running really was Japan. I have nothing against Japan, but it wasn't on my radar at all. Until recently that is.
Whoa there, Goat! Don't pack your bags yet.
My brother in law and his family are stationed at Okinawa. It looks like they might stay there indefinitely. About a year ago, my brother in law asked my husband when we were going to visit. I thought he was joking. He clearly didn't understand how little a teacher in Montana makes if he thought we could just pop off and skip over the Pacific. But he's not joking. In the last month, it came up a third time. I'm feeling pressured a bit to say yes even though I know the money isn't really there. While I have my list of destinations, so does my husband. Japan is on his list.
Yes, Kermit. That's a darn good imitation of my husband's reaction if we went.
You see, his father was in the military, Air Force to be exact. My husband lived several years in Spain growing up before the family got transferred stateside. When his dad eventually got orders for Japan, he said he'd take my husband, too. Instead, he divorced my mother in law and left for Japan alone. My husband was about 12 at the time. Old enough to remember the heartbreak of being cast off. Believe it or not, this isn't the only pressure to make the trip although it is the most emotionally persuasive.
Apparently the sushi are excited at this possibility.
They won't be after I gobble them up!
My instinct was to say no, and I did. More than once I repeated that we simply couldn't swing $4-4500 dollars just for tickets. Then there's the cost of touristy things and meals out and souvenirs...we just don't have that kind of moolah to spend especially when we just bought a new car and have renovations to finish on our house. That's when my in law started offering to pay for our tickets.
That's right, NPH. He made that offer.
This seemed overwhelmingly generous and honestly, very tempting. If he pays the ticket and we stay with him, it's a no brainer, right? Not really. I'm socially awkward anyway, and I think this would be the most socially awkward trip I've ever taken. I just don't know this in law and his wife that well. I do know that we have opposing views on religion, politics, and education. Does my insurance cover overseas emergency care for when I bite my tongue too many times and it just gives up and leaps from my mouth in surrender?
WTH is this?
I suppose this could be my tongue asking someone to have mercy on it.
When the topic of a visit came up again, I looked into prices for tickets. I just feel really uncomfortable accepting such an enormous gift from people I don't really know even if they are family. Tickets had come down some. Lowest I found was $1900. My brother in law thought he could find tickets for about $800. Say what? Do Marines have access to a flight list other than a C-130 that offers huge discounts overseas? I still do not have confirmation on this price, but I did see tickets at $1500 last night.
That's right, Fugu. I would totally eat you at that price.
As I run over all the pros and cons in my head, I of course started to ask friends what they would do. One of the primary reactions is the YOLO response. Her exact words were, "Only one precious life, right?" Another friend said that the location alone bears a lot of consideration as we'd likely never consider it otherwise. OK, so let's say we seize the day and go. What does that look like?
Fine, Buffy. You're the wise Slayer after all.
We'd get to see the family including two nephews I don't know well. My husband would get to fulfill an item on his bucket list; me, too actually. My bucket list does have "Get off the North American continent at least once". Experiencing another culture including museums, beaches, restaurants, the Peace Memorial, singing karaoke in an actual Japanese bar...I could go on I suppose. My sister's kids would be intensely jealous as well. They are quite into Japanese snacks and entertainment. It could be the YOLO trip of our lives.
Thanks, Dumbledore. I'll keep that in mind. Also, wet blanket much?
What's holding me back from going full gusto besides my socially awkward and deeply cynical nature? I don't like accepting a gift of that monetary amount from anyone. I'd be uncomfortable taking that from my own parents even especially since I know they can't afford it. One friend suggested that we make an agreement to pay back the tickets in a specified time frame. I don't know if that'd fly with this fellow (again with the not knowing him thing), but it's a thought. We could split the cost--we pay one way, they pay the other. Even that is a chunk we could put toward the house renovation though. I manage our finances and I know that we barely get by as it is, so forking over any money for a luxury trip like this is a daunting ask. Of course, we do have an additional tax refund that should show up sometime in the near future. It would cover our tickets, but we had earmarked that for other things like Alaska and continuing ed credits and house repairs. Besides, it's not a good idea to spend the money before you have the money. *sigh* No easy answers there.
Yes, Mr. Maguire. On this we agree.
We also need to settle on when we'd go. June-November is monsoon/tsunami season. I know--I went to Nebraska and Kansas during the tornado season more than once and survived. Millions of Japanese have survived countless monsoons and even tsunamis. We probably could, too. I really want to visit beaches and try out snorkeling; these are things that are not companionable with the storm season. If you don't know, Jun-August would be right when it's most convenient for both of us to take a trek over the ocean. During the school year is tough, and I don't relish the thought of travel at Christmas. I don't think we could save up enough by then anyway. If we played it smart, we could get our passports back from expired and probably save some walking around money. But why won't this knot in my gut go away?
Looks about right.
It's simple. In this relationship, I'm not the risk-taker. I'm the have-a-plan-and-be-responsible-with-your-choices one. If you believe astrology, that is exactly opposite of what we should be. He's a taurus and I'm a gemini. More evidence against astrology.
Cat on a PB&J in space still more believable than the zodiac.
Despite my misgivings, I've already started a plan: sell the truck, sell that beast of a camper, sell some clothes on the garage sale app, stop eating out, stop spending so much on alcohol (it's not much, but it adds up), and ask family and friends for prepaid VISA cards or deposits to a trip savings account instead of presents for anniversary, birthdays, and Christmas. Shit. It's becoming possible. Now I just need to find a class to work on that social awkwardness issue.
Got any advice on that one, Moose?
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