Insurance: Or Screw You Subscriber Knave

I've decided that I loathe insurance companies. I think they serve a purpose and I am lucky to have insurance through my workplace so that all our autoimmune and other crap aren't as outrageous as they could be. I still loathe insurance companies.

Max Pixel

That's right, Goat. That's right.

You see, this year, our insurance company was apparently audited. I didn't realize this was a thing. But they got audited, so we all had to prove that our dependents are really our spouses and children. It was insane. You'd think that a history of 17 years would be enough to satisfy their inquiry, but no. We had to prove our marriage with a marriage license, a signed letter, and a copy of our mortgage bill since it has both our names on it with the same address. My sister's family had to do this for their three children, too. Birth certificates and whatnot. Absurd.

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Even Nick Cage gets it.

Then after getting that squared, I called in my triptan script and it wasn't there when my husband picked up the meds. He even asked and they said there wasn't anything for me. So he tried again Friday just to be sure. Apparently the insurance company not only thought it wasn't time yet (it totally was), they decided that I can only have 6 triptans a month now instead of 9! WTF? Seriously? It was already hard enough some months to ration them out so as not to go beyond 9, but 6? That's even worse. I really wonder where they get off second guessing doctors. They did this with my husband's sleep study, too. The doctor said he needed one test and the insurance said that it was not needed, so he had to go through a second sleep study because they wouldn't go along  with what the doctor already knew the first time. Prove you need it and let us inconvenience you at the same time. They would've saved themselves time and money by just doing what the doctor said, but nope. They knew better. They also won't pay for his machine. They'll pay 75%, but not all for something that could prevent a host of other health troubles, but nope. They want to cling to that money and wait until something really goes wrong. It is ludicrous.

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Victim of something. 

It's like insurance companies take you hostage 

even though they're supposed to be working for you. Makes no sense.

They wouldn't cover my sleep study either. I was getting checked to see if the oxygen level was dropping too far in the night to cause an increase in my headaches. Treating with oxygen would have been easy and cheaper than the Botox, but nope. Insurance didn't want to find out since I didn't have a history of breathing trouble. Idiots!

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And don't give it back no matter what my doctor says!

Now this. It seems like they keep tightening their purse-strings. The purse that I help line with my money every month. Now I have to contact my neurologist and see if she can intercede and get them to understand the stupidity of restricting an already tight restriction unnecessarily. I have insurance. I am thankful for that. However, they are assholes.

Joint Base Elmendord-Richardson

Yes, Master Insurance. I will obey your ruling, oh wise and generous insurance company.