Intersection

It's cold and rainy here. Not overly cold, but chilly enough for a spring day at the end of May. I keep returning to my spot on the sofa. I go do something. Then I come back. I thought that perhaps the rainy weather was responsible for my case of the doldrums and ho-hums. I even thought that maybe I needed to up my dose of 5 HTP again. I thought maybe this sense of I-need-a-nap was my depression rearing up.
Then I remembered: It's Benlysta week. That's why folding laundry was exhausting. That's why taking a shower was oppressive rather than invigorating. That's why my head is heavy and my yawns are many. I really just want to go sleep for a while. It's my body telling me the lupus fatigue is going to kick my ass until Wednesday. Goody.
So that'll be just in time for the higher dose of lamictal. That means I'll feel really good on the energy front just in time for the nightmares that interrupt my sleep. My doctor upped the dose of my lamictal because of small fiber neuropathy pain. Every upped dose has given me nightmares. Not just nightmares mind you, but night terrors when you wake up in a sweat, your heart is pounding, and you can't go back to sleep. Or those sleep paralysis incidents where you're in twilight. You are aware you're not really asleep, but you're not altogether awake either. The best part is of course the foreboding and the dark presence in the room. Can't wait for that. And interrupting sleep patterns makes lupus and migraine symptoms more likely. Regular sleep is stupid important for just about everything in life.
But it's also Ajovy week. As of today, I've only had 7 attack days since last shot day. This is good. Of course, the weather and the lack of sleep could open the door to more headaches. So might the 5 HTP appetite suppression. I am pretty sure that the migraine on Friday was because I hadn't been eating as much as usual. I was eating more out of knowing I needed to rather than any real interest or appetite. Apparently I was not vigilant enough. Must do better.
I started 5 HTP few weeks ago because the St. John's Wort was causing the same trouble that every other anti-depressant has: no libido and no orgasm. Of course, no libido is part of depression, so...yeah. Switched and I am much more pleased with the 5 HTP. Except for the needing to force myself to remember to eat so I don't get migraines.
It's really odd to think about how interconnected every ailment and treatment is. You find something to remedy one malady and it makes another malady worse. Solve one, make another more unpleasant. It would be grand if you could engineer a treatment that solves all your conditions without causing any kind of trouble. But where's the fun in that?
For now, I will curl up on the sofa in my robe and blankies with the three kitties around me. I have my colored pencils and color-in post cards to do while Netflix runs. I think I can manage that. I might even manage a cup of tea.