Beltane

Beltane

Cleanse the space and place a rosy pink cloth on the altar.  Adorn with flowers of all kinds.  Place a rosy pink candle for the ritual light.  Have a red and a white candle as well anointed with lavender.  Carve a symbol for the Goddess on the red and a God symbol on the white.  Set on altar on the appropriate sides of the space.  Maybe drink a fruit infused tea for preparation of self.  Have a sparkling wine—apple is a Goddess symbol here—and some luscious berries and creamy cheeses for the Simple Feast.  Once all is set, begin.

Cast circle

Blessing Chant

            Creative energies of Mother Earth,

            Join together with the Lady of the Moon,

            The Hunter of the Land,

            Spirits of the elemental realms,

            Within the sacred stones

            Bless this place, this time and I who am with you.

                        (adapted from S. Cunningham)

Invoke the Goddess and the God

            Mistress of love and fertility, I call upon you Maiden!  Be with me on this Beltane night.  Light the red candle.

            Champion of the forest and land, I call upon you Sun God!  Be with me in Beltane’s light.   Light the white candle.

Prayer of Beltane

Fearless Maiden of the Forest, explore in solitude spring’s path before you.

Youthful Lord of the sun wanders alone until May’s trail turns true.

Together your paths weave on sacred course.

A union blessed and consummated

Brings forth Earth’s fertile celebration of life!

These two are one and one is all,

In Beltane’s fire, passions rise and fall,

United with you, at creation’s ball,

By the law of three, so mote we be!

Simple Feast

Joyous Maiden fill this wine with your love,

Blazing Lord instill in this fruit your desire,

In the name of Maiden and Sun I bless this feast!

Release circle

           Enjoy the Great Rite with someone you love and revel in the beauty of the act of lovemaking as it is sacred, creative, and blessed. 

And the Award For Most Heretical Activity This Weekend Goes To...

My goddaughter received the trifecta of sacraments recently.  In our diocese second graders are now the recipients of reconciliation, communion and confirmation all at once.  When I went through them it was a progression—second grade=communion, fourth grade=reconciliation, and junior year was confirmation.  My misgivings and disagreement with the change of confirming second graders who probably don’t really appreciate all that confirmation means aside, this was my niece’s big day.  She had on a gorgeous little white satin dress with pearl accents, white tights, and low heel sandals along with a flower in her hair unlike the other girls who almost all opted to wear veils.  I, as her godmother, attended my first Catholic-non funeral mass in ages.

Attending mass with the family always brings up pesky questions like, “Will I be struck by lightning when I walk in” or “How big of a deal will this be to my mother” or “Do I receive communion?”  All of these run through my head whenever I consider attending mass.  My mom did make the joke about how the building didn’t get burnt down when my husband and I walked in.  Now, I choose to believe that this was a lighthearted ribbing.  I could be overly sensitive and react to it indignantly, but what’s the point?  Far better to look at it as a simple joke.  So I do.  Then there was communion—to receive or not to receive.  Such a quandary.  At the Methodist church I attended some years ago, the minister always made a statement that all present were welcome at God’s table meaning that even if you haven’t received the Catholic required sacrament of first communion or even if you were from a different church or faith, you should still feel welcome to partake.  No such statement at this mass even though the Catholic viewpoint is that any Christian is welcome.  I was listening for the invite too, but it never came.

 Interesting point if you don’t know, but Catholics actually believe in the mystery that the bread and wine is transformed into the body and blood of Christ.  I know plenty who don’t really believe that, but that is also the official stance of the sacrament and is one of the qualifying rules for receiving communion.   You must believe it or you shouldn’t receive communion.   Rather grody if you consider it.  Church sanctioned cannibalism?  Ew!  No thank you!  For those of us less inclined toward literal interpretation, it’s a symbolic ritual. I found an article that provides a succinct explanation of the rules regarding communion.  Despite the fact that I satisfied almost none of those rules, I went to receive the body of Christ anyway.  Maybe it was stubbornness, but there's definitely more to it than flipping the bird at the ways of the Catholic Church.  I didn't do it as an affront at all.  I'll get into more of the actual reason in a minute.  Until then, enjoy a little trip down memory lane with me.

Growing up, my dad would always stand off to the side of the pew and allow my mom, my sister and I to go up the aisle first; it was a rather gentlemanly gesture on his part.  During this service though, he waited for mom, but not for me to join the line and walk up to the altar.  I didn’t really think much on it until later.  Was this some sort of slight?  Was my father willfully excluding me by closing the gap and not waiting for me?  Maybe, but again I tend to think better of him than that.  I want to believe that it was just due to his not having been to service with me in a while and he’s out of practice.  It honestly didn’t strike me as anything otherwise until much later in the day when I was reflecting on the day; then I had to wonder.  Either way though, it really doesn’t matter why he did it because he is free to express his opinion one way or the other.  I would rather believe well about him though and therefore I won’t read anything into it more than what it was.  I can’t imagine him intentionally doing something like that to hurt me.  So, I received communion much to my husband’s surprise. 

Now, if you read that article up above, receiving communion in the Catholic Church means a lot. It means you are to meet those criteria and if you don’t, you offend God by receiving communion.  Hmm…the rafters didn’t shake or come crashing down.  The priest didn’t ask me if I had sinned lately and I didn’t have to present an ID for communion.  Did I offend God?  According to church teaching yes I did.  My bad.  However, I liken communion to the portion of a circle called cakes and ale.  Giving thanks for the bounty and ingesting food and drink to ground us and to balance us is not unlike taking in the body and blood except there’s no ritual cannibalism by (*gasp)magic nor is there purity control prior to ingestion beyond preparation of self.  If I was to participate in a circle with non-Wiccans present, I would invite them to partake of my simple feast.  I would gladly welcome them in the celebration.  I guess that is something I wanted my goddaughter to see.  Even though her aunt doesn’t attend church, she can still eat at God’s table.  I don’t want her growing up thinking that God doesn’t welcome all of his children to be present with Him.    I don’t think Christ would’ve turned someone like me away.  One of the things the priest made clear when I went through confirmation classes was that it’s not for me to judge anyone else’s commitment or worthiness—that was up to God to handle.  So if my mom meant more by her dig or if my dad really did intend to exclude me, that’s their right, but it’s also their problem to resolve with God.  As for me, I’ve examined my conscience and I’ve reasoned it through and I cannot say for certain—neither can anyone else—what is in God’s mind.  I know that when I heard God or Lord etc during mass, I would mentally add Goddess or Lady as well.  I know that after studying and considering all the angles and information set before me that the image of God I want my goddaughter to know is one of love and acceptance of all.  Most importantly, I do not want her to turn up her nose in judgment to anyone of another faith or belief all the while insisting that she and the other Catholics had cornered the market on rightness.  Knowing why you agree or disagree with a religion’s teachings is vital in my opinion.  While I am sure she has no idea yet why  this would even be an issue for me or my parents or anyone else, at least she will have the memory that I was there for her big day and I did participate in all aspects of the service without a holy bolt of smite striking me down.  One day she may be ready for the conversation, but not yet.

Strictly speaking, I am a rampant heretic.  I have offended God gravely.  I should rush to confession.  Yet, here I sit ruminating, writing, editing and feeling quite at peace with things as they are.   Honestly, how and why do those self-described Catholic-Pagans do this?  When I read that article up above, it reminded me of all the rules regarding communion and what it means to be Catholic.  It reminded me of all I had learned growing up by passing through the sacraments.  Now after 20 or so years of meditations on the topic I believe that religions can provide beauty and wonder and morals.  I believe that the mythology of religions can be highly instructive tools for young people to learn how to listen to and follow their conscience.  They can also be very destructive tools to promote misogyny and abuse and bigotry.  I do not believe that the Catholic Church is home for me.  I’ll just pack up my heretical tools and keep moving through this existence as best I can with as much love as I can for all people, even those who disagree or judge me.  I have no need to be right in this argument.  That’s not important to me.  What is important to me is knowing who I am and why I make the choices I make regardless of any mythology.  That way, if my goddaughter is ever ready for that conversation, I can engage her with the benefit of my experience and deeply reasoned beliefs. 

So That Was Easter

As time has passed and I have moved farther away from any kind of organized religion, Easter has not retained its magical nature for me the way Christmas has.  I love Christmas--the lights, the carols, the food--all of it.  Maybe because of time of year and the wonder of the holiday brings some life to the otherwise bleak winter.  Perhaps.
This Easter we had what my husband refers to as Atheist Duty.  You see, my parents and my sister's family attend Catholic mass together.  It becomes the responsibility of my husband and me to attend to meal preparations, watch a sick niece or nephew or as with this Easter, spend time with my 96 year old grandmother because my parents are afraid to leave her alone for the 1 1/2-2 hours while they go to mass.  She's narcoleptic and very prone to vertigo spells among other issues and I can see why they worry.  No problem.  Gives me a chance to talk and spend time with Grandma.
Any way, church service non-attendance: My mother attempted to engage me in the "I miss you at services with the rest of us and why can't you just go to Christmas and Easter Mass with us" conversation some years ago.  I admit I didn't handle that very well.  I believe I got a little irate at the suggestion.  I quite distinctly recall asking her why she thought I would ever do that since it was the Christmas and Easter only attendees that drove me batty growing up.  I really did get vexed at the increased numbers of people who only attended at the holidays so it seemed odd that my mother--who knew this--would suggest that I become one of them.  I was insulted.  If I don't attend the rest of the year, what makes these days more special?  If I don't have a strong enough faith in the belief system of the Holy and Apostolic Church to attend regularly, it make no sense to me to attend on the holidays.  I know it hurt my mother's feelings, but going to mass just to make her feel better or to assuage my guilt (Catholic remember--you can't always shake it!)  for having lost my temper just aren't enough.  I have not yet reached that level of comfort to attend a Catholic service with indifference.  There's an odd mix of residual comfort and familiarity along with outrage over with what I see as hypocrisy and immorality.   The last service I attended was my maternal grandmother's funeral where my uncle--my godfather--saw fit to tell me as I cried that my grandmother prayed every day that I'd come back to the Church.  It was one of those moments where I had to choose between lambasting him with, "Well I hope you don't waste your time like she did" or just nodding until I could have a moment to myself to scream.  I chose the latter.  You need to understand, this was my grandmother who sent me a kitchen mat/rug for my wedding.  Really--it was a maybe $15 in front of the kitchen sink rug. For my sister, she matted and framed some lace doilies she had made.  It's taken me a long time to make peace with this little dig, but my uncle's assertion that my grandmother prayed for me to come back to the Church--the implied meaning "can't you see how much it hurt her that you didn't go to church" set those feelings to boiling.  The fact that my uncle rarely engages me in any conversation via letters, email or even Facebook deepens the divide to the point where I have very little interest at all in sharing who I am or what I believe.  This is my family.
My mother has accepted the fact that I don't attend mass--at least outwardly.  I am sure it still bothers her--probably more because it reflects badly on her that I don't attend church, but still.  She hasn't mentioned it for some time.  She has however started asking questions or making statements about other beliefs and points of view.  I don't think she's quite ready to accept me being Pagan mind you, but she made an interesting comment this Easter about how she recognizes the Pagan origins of Christmas, but that she still thinks Easter is distinctly Christian.  Perhaps--depending on how you look at it.
Anyone on Yahoo last week probably saw this article about how the date for Easter is set.  By this it is evident that a celestial event is used to set the date of Easter and the variable nature of the Easter date is now explained.  I have to wonder why the date was set according to the moon whereas Christmas is a fixed date.  I know Christmas set more closely along with Pagan days like Yule and Saturnalia, but why not so with Easter?  It seems a strange way to set dates for one of the faith's most cherished celebrations.  I didn't bring this up though.
I also didn't explain about the Easter Bunny or the eggs as being Pagan either.  Again, this was one of those things I had to investigate when I began reflecting on being Catholic.  What the hell does a bunny, an egg and a bunch of chocolate and candy have to do with Jesus dying and rising from the dead three days later?  Well duh!  Those are all the trappings of Pagan and secular beliefs.  Looking just at the symbols, eggs are fertility representing the potential for a rebirth.  According to Pagan belief the Sun God is awakening from the winter darkness and takes notice of the Goddess--this sets in motion the mythology that will lead to the eventual uniting of the God and Goddess at Beltane.  An article in my Facebook news feed on Easter presented a lot of my own associations and beliefs about the holiday.  I loved her remark that, "It mattered not to me if this was myth.  I embraced the symbolic meaning behind it all."  Non-Christians and yes, many atheists I know like to poke fun at Christian Easter myth as being the zombie Jesus story.  I laugh too, but the myth is important this time of year if you look beyond the walking dead savior.  The young son (not sun anymore) God died and is resurrected just like the Sun in Pagan myth died in the winter and was reborn.  Both Sun and Son now go out into the world again to bring new life.  Easter distinctly Christian?  Not absolutely as far as I can reason.  Even the celebration of the Jewish seder reflects on the idea of moving from slavery to freedom--darkness to light--death to life.  Members are encouraged to invite people from outside their family and faith to partake in what is moving and hallowed ritual recognizing a new life of freedom.  There might not be bunnies and eggs, but there is an abundance of symbolism in every aspect of the rite which educates about the Jewish faith while also reflecting on the themes common to much of humanity: compassion, kindness, respect for children (children are expected and encouraged to ask questions to deepen their knowledge).
Even my atheist and agnostic sites sent me unique items in my news feed that reinforced my belief that if we'd all just stop having to be right all the time we might discover some fascinating similarities. Neil deGrasse Tyson explains the difference between agnostic and atheist, Cheney gives a rubric for atheist versus believer with some interesting quotations to explain the ratings, and Jason Gots reminds us of the important three beliefs that humanity almost universally accepts even without referring to religions.  Again--no bunnies or eggs, but there's the inclination to respect another belief system and to recognize that humanity should be able to agree on some fairly basic guidelines.
I may have missed an opportunity to engage in a meaningful conversation to educate my mother on Easter and the season and all it has to offer.  She seems content in her beliefs for now.  I hope if there is a next time I can speak up thoughtfully, objectively and respectfully. I also hope that if she and others like her have questions, they seek out answers from as many sources as it takes.