Supernatural Makes for Good TV Only

I love shows about ghosts, monsters, and slayers. I am a huge Buffy, Charmed, and Supernatural fan. Thing is: I don't believe in any of that stuff. It took a long time and a lot of reflection, but I've relegated all of those things that go bump in the night to the realm of fiction only.

Don't worry, Goat. There's not a monster creeping up behind you.

Once I became disillusioned with the Catholic church because of sexism, bigotry, and pedophilia, I soon became disillusioned with the whole notion of God and everything else. While the Methodists were welcoming, kind, and seemingly more progressive with their stance on female clergy, I began to pay more attention to their practice here in my hometown. A female pastor was fairly well shunned and they don't officiate LGBTQ weddings. I couldn't stand for that. I stopped attending services there. I was very disappointed that leaving the Catholic church for what is jokingly termed "Catholic Light: A Third Less Guilt" meant trading less overseeing, bigoted patriarchy for a well-masked, bigoted patriarchy. Consequently, I began my spiritual searching into other non-Christian waters eventually ending up at Secular Humanism with Pagan tendencies. Essentially, I pondered and learned and critically thought about a lot of religion and spiritual ideas until I simply decided the concepts of gods, heavens, and hells were a bunch of hooey. We've got one life and it's this one. Make it count.

Glad you agree, Chuck.

One area I had difficulty reconciling in my discounting of religious beliefs was ghosts. No really. Ghosts. You see, as a kid, we had weird experiences in my house. Now, I had an active imagination and I was fascinated with the supernatural, too. However, my mom had one experience when we were remodeling where she was propping up some sheet rock for my dad when something black and amorphous flew at her knocking her on her butt on the stairs. This had all the makings of a classic ticked off the resident ghost with remodeling story. I also saw things like a black, floating entity that followed me around. It even followed me to college where one night I saw it in the middle of my dorm room. My roommate couldn't see it. I have come to realize that this thing was nothing more than my migraines. I've always had more visual weirdness with my migraines than any other symptoms. I have the sparkly lights and prisms, but I also see color blobs and black, gelatinous shapes that move around in my field of vision. Of course, for years I had no idea that what I was mistaking for a specter was really a manifestation of my migraines. I used to think that the religious music I listened to made it go away. In truth, it probably relaxed me a bit, which helped get rid of the visual disturbance. The two could also be completely unrelated.

Kinda like this only not striped and with more appendages like an amoeba.

I've also heard many stories and experienced my own bizarre nocturnal visitations. My mom has said that she's felt someone sitting on her bed or the bed trembling (I did, too when I slept in the basement). My husband has felt someone moving on the bed and felt it to be distinctly feminine. My brother in law was asleep on the sofa at my parents' house one day when he saw an undefined, masculine figure approach him and then disappear. I have heard someone call my name as I was waking up when no one was around. I have thought myself awake with an evil presence looming over me. All of these ghost like stories scared me, and I had no way to explain them. That is, until I learned about sleep paralysis. Often thought to be the origins of the incubus/succubus demons, this phenomenon is not all that uncommon. You feel unable to move or call out and sense an evil presence in the room. Sometimes you see a dark or black figure because your eyes are open and you are, you guessed it, hallucinating. Again, one more thing that used to frighten me that is easily explained.

It's ok, Skinner. Totally normal sleep experience caused by not getting enough quality sleep. So, forget that succubus and get some shut eye.

One story that I really had a hard time figuring out happened when my husband and I first moved into our home. It's an old home mind you, which again makes it perfect for ghost experiences. My husband was on the sofa one evening working on something when a female sat down next to him. He thought it was me since we were the only two in the house besides our cat. Of course, when he said something to it and it didn't respond, he turned to look at this woman and poof! She was gone. This really freaked him out for good reason. Another time, same kind of situation where a female in what he described as Gibson girl fashion walked past our bedroom. It was night, so this one is easily explained as sleep paralysis hallucination. The other one though vexed me. Could he have been so tired that he was in that in between sleep state that this too was a hallucination? Possibly. I don't really know. I'm fairly certain at this point though that it was not a ghost.

Thanks, Dean. Not so freaked out anymore.

Another explanation comes from the realm of physics. Could those visitors actually be breaking through from another dimension? I prefer to think of this explanation simply because it helps support the multiverse theory, but people who actually know physics say that it doesn't really work like that. Entities from one of the parallel worlds can't really move from one bubble or quilt square over to another one, but some physicists do remain open to quantum mechanics to explain the mental energy leaving the body at death and becoming mental entity. Jury is still out on that one. Further, it could be that my husband had somehow stimulated his temporoparietal lobe that impacts a sense of self. It can create the illusion of shadow people. It could have been infrasound or carbon monoxide. We don't really know, but we did install a carbon monoxide detector at one point, and we have made some improvements around the house. Maybe we addressed whatever it was making the hallucinations possible and now it's no longer an issue.  It's been years since my husband saw or felt the lady, so what ever it was, is gone now.

You got it, Colbert.

I still get a kick out of all the supernatural shows on TV. I adore reading Anne Rice's novels. I enjoy watching the ghost hunter shows on cable. I would totally go on a ghost hunt vacation or stay at The Stanley Hotel, but now I do those things with a more critical view. Once you start letting go of some supernatural beliefs, you find rational explanations for others. I don't miss being afraid to go to sleep. I don't miss the fear that some preternatural being decided to be my groupie. I don't miss being terrified when I'd wake up and couldn't move but knew something else was in the room. I enjoy the fiction, but know that the reality has a reasonable explanation.

You're not a ghost, Moose. It's called being a genetic variation of white-haired moose. 

Natural, not supernatural.