Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Dear Facebook,
There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to be blunt.
I'm breaking up with you. I'd say that cliche that it's not you, it's me; however let's be honest. It's totally you.
What can I say? It started like a fun and light-hearted relationship. You brought me close to friends from different states and even countries. You got me hooked on Farkle. You made me laugh at memes and jokes. You gave me thought-provoking articles and some fun discussions. There were posts about cats, goats, moose and more. I enjoyed the challenge of posting a different birthday photo and message for everyone for a whole year. I thought the challenge of Moose Monday, Totally Odd Tuesday, Whale Wednesday, Friday Eve Funny Bone, Friday Animal of the Week, and of course, Caturday might make the place friendlier and lighter for all my friends. It was therapeutic for a while.
But then it all changed. You betrayed me. You betrayed us all.
I don't want to make this any more awkward than it already is, but you've likely already heard. I've been seeing Reddit for a while now. I can get my fill of puns, art, migraine discussions, science news, and the cutest damn collection of daily r/cats and r/aww I can handle.
I've deactivated my page until I move out all my stuff. I've tried to make this as easy as possible. Please don't message me. I never put the app on my phone. Don't try and get my friends to bring me back. That's just rude and really just shows how desperate and manipulative you can be. Let's just go our separate ways.
And no, I don't want to be friends.
Sincerely,
Me

I Got Alotta Problems with You People

I was going to post about Yule. You know: how I celebrated; how I plan to incorporate that sabbat into the next few weeks; how it coincided with a glorious full moon etc. But then I was reminded that today is Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us. Let the Airing of Grievances begin.

IHA.com

Goats climbing narrow stone passages: It's a Festivus miracle!

1. How dare you, Commander in Self-Promotion for rescinding your statement about compromising on the stupid border wall and government shutdown. Asshole! You are playing with people's livelihoods. Your ego and idiotic campaign pledge to carry out construction of something so grossly expensive and ineffective affects countless people at the holiday season. They depend on those programs and paychecks for the work they have done and continue to do. Fuck you! You arrogant fuckhead.

gifheaven.tumblr.com

If only it was a middle finger.

2. Amazon you greedy motherfucking business! You make it so easy to shop and find items that you've made actual going to stores obsolete! We've grown more and more dependent on you and you have revealed and reinforced your title as one of the biggest corporate fuck-the-common-people-opolies ever! You capitalist pig of a company! You abuse your employees, reap untold monies for your muckety mucks, and exploit the public's desire for simplicity in shopping while still in our underwear. Fuck you for preying on our social anxiety!

tumblr.com

Me when I have to go in public.

3. Facebook, you are an unscrupulous plague on the worldwide web. A blemish on the face of your book of likes. A Venus flytrap of tempting, time-wasting timelines. You traded your integrity, mission, and users to the detriment of our democracy and mental health and trust. May users run far away from you in the coming year. You are not worthy you fuckstick of global proportions!

cravecanada

Again, if only they were middle fingers.

4. Anti-vaxxers, you purveyors of falsehoods and once controlled devastating diseases! You have resurrected diseases like measles to once again run amuck through societies. You know, these diseases can mutate. We had them under control and people with compromised immune systems were protected my the herd, but no! You have to let your fear of being non-neuro normative open the door to smallpox, measles, mumps, rubella, polio and who knows what else that will creep from the slime of your misinformed and self-important ignorance. Fucking get fucking vaccinated!

seinfeldgifs.tumblr.com

Are you happy now? This dumpster fire is on you.

5. Algorithms of Diablo III! I have been loyal and played hours and hours of rifts and campaigns and you withhold rewards from me. You know that builds work better when complete and yet you fucking refuse to drop a few items I need to complete my builds. I have submitted myself to humiliating defeat despite conquering every quest and bounty you've thrown weekend after weekend after weekend. Fucking throw me a bone, or a Girdle of Giants. Maybe a Blade of Tribes. Something! Sweetums the Barbarian has untapped potential dammit!

reddit.com

Don't suppose you have an Orb of Infinite Depth for Lucious in there, do ya?

And there you have it. My Airing of Grievances for 2018. I don't know what Feats of Strength we shall partake of around here. Perhaps we'll bench press a cat or power-lift a basket of laundry. Whatever we do, I wish you a Happy Festivus.

Wikimedia Commons

A moose in water! It's a Festivus miracle!

Effed Up World Choices

I've been considering the idea of choice a lot in the last few weeks. I've seen a few headlines that make me really wonder about the choices of our "world leaders". It's one thing when I fuck up my own choices, but when the people who are supposed to be leaders fuck up, the consequences are scarier and affect a lot more people.

publicdomainpictures.net

I know it's hard to believe, Goat. They just keep fucking things up.

For example, a few weeks back I read an article about Pope Francis. Now, you all know how I feel about the Catholic Church, but I had thought Francis was starting to move the church in a better direction more suited to the modern era. However, he really fucked that up. Francis said he was "worried" about homosexuality in the priesthood. Homosexuality is "fashionable"  and there is "no room for this" in the lives of priests and nuns. Those training for the clergy are to be "humanly and  emotionally mature". Apparently homosexuality means you are neither. After all, the official position which he reiterated is that homosexual acts ares sins even though homosexuality is not. WTF? There's a distinct whiff of equating homosexuality with pedophilia in the comments like "they (candidates for holy orders) be impeccably responsible, trying never to scandalize either their communities or the faithful holy people of God." That word: scandalize. Because you know, the priests who committed pedophilia were all gay, obviously.  He also makes reference to supporting "gay culture" as ruling out holy orders for a person. Way to fuck up your "who am I to judge" comment. You totally judge when you say this shit, Francis. Ever think perhaps that ridiculous rule about celibacy is the real problem? No? OK then. You suck.

feed186.photobucket.com

And tumbleweeds never lie. 

Another fuck up on the world stage is the recent climate summit. You know-the one where the US stood with Russia, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait against strengthening commitments and efforts to curtail global warming? Because Russia and Kuwait and Saudi Arabia are exactly who the US should stand with. (Pssst! "Denier in Chief", your collusion is showing). I'd say they're all like ostriches, but let's be honest: their heads aren't in the sand. They're up their asses. It's not like humans have vastly altered the world's climate by bringing back climates from millions of years ago in a short span of two centuries. Nah. Didn't happen. The US being one of the largest contributors to the current carbon emission crisis is irrelevant. Let them smell our exhaust fumes and belching fossil fuel refining. So what if their island homes get wiped out in waves of warmer oceans? We still have our gas, oil, and big money! All you world leader climate deniers suck ass.

absolutewrite.com

That's right my 6-legged friend. 

Your time to rule may be on the horizon.

Yet another fuck up comes out of Texas. Surprised? Nope. Sorry, Texas. When it comes to policy, your leaders tend to fuck up on the whole making life better for the people thing. Anyway, a federal judge just ruled the Affordable Care Act unconstitutional, which sends it back to the Supreme Court...again. Because we have to keep arguing about how seeing to it that everyone has what they need to be healthy as some sort of blight on our freedoms. Ever stop to consider that not worrying about healthcare ensures people can pursue life, liberty, and happiness? Oh wait. The fact that GoFundMe is the solution to outrageous medical bills is a good thing. Reducing the sick to online beggars is what makes America great. Might as well rename the fundraising site Panhandling for Prescriptions, or Entreating for Treatment, or Soliciting for Surgery. If the legislature has been able to come up with a replacement for the ACA, they would have done it by now. But they couldn't. Because it's hard. Because they don't want to make sure that the people they represent have what they need. It's more important to hide behind their version of the constitution and ensure that insurance companies and prescription drug companies get to keep reaping the financial benefits while the people die. They simply can't admit that the ACA, flawed as it is, is the right path forward. Standing against Medicare for All or universal healthcare as a right means you suck big, fat, hairy donkey dongs.

Saturday Night LIve

Say it again for the people in the back!

I don't know how to make people understand that giving everyone the dignity of life with acceptance of who they are, affirmation of climate change responsibility, and assurance that a cancer diagnosis won't bankrupt them are essential to humanity. It is simply unconscionable to think contrary to any of these precepts.  Choosing to ally against equal rights, climate change, and universal healthcare is simply choosing to fuck up everyone and everything that wants to live in happiness and freedom.

USFWS Headquarters

Just remember: Moose is watching you. Moose knows when you fuck up.

Unfortunate Life Choices

I've made better life choices since last writing. However, I have come to know about some unfortunate life choices others have had to make in addition to my own. These unfortunate life choices pain me to think of; some just make me down right angry.

publicdomainpictures.net

You nailed it right there, Goat.

For example, there was an astonishing photo online that my husband showed me. My description won't do it justice, but it was a city on the Gaza strip with a dense dark cloud looming over the city and bright, vicious orange flames at its center. It was chilling and dramatic and my jaw hung open as I contemplated the unfortunate life choices at play in this area. I read a snippit today about a father in that region who couldn't afford a prosthetic for his kid and therefore fashioned one out of a plastic bottle. What the actual fuck? At some point, the powers that be have got to recognize that there are people in the center of this continued battle over imaginary lines drawn on the landscape. The people who live there are not the ones at fault, but they are the ones who suffer. If you think they shouldn't choose to live there, I don't think it's that simple. I'm sure if they could leave that easily, they would move from the front lines. But eons of war and unfortunate choices by others have made their choice for them. Or limited them rather.

Swear Trek

You said it, McCoy.

Another unfortunate life choice I learned this week comes from one of my students. Before the holiday break, he got word that a friend of his had died in a car accident back in England where my student was born. He was trying so hard not to cry when he told me. I was immediately moved to tears myself, which made it just that much harder for him to keep it together. Anyway, break passed and I checked in with him last week to see how he was doing. That's when he told me that it had been a practical joke. I felt like I'd been sandbagged. I doubled over and then looked up at him (he's like 6'4") and said, "Are you serious!?!" I really wanted to let fly the expletives of anger, but I bit those back. He said yes. I can't even imagine what this young man went through for those hours that he thought his friend was dead. I wanted to go over the pond and throttle those knuckleheads who thought this act of sheer cruelty was funny. Talk about unfortunate choices. I wouldn't be surprised if my student didn't talk to them for many moons to come.

Swaer Trek

Me inside when I learned of this "joke".

Closer to home, my husband and I had to complete the stupid wellness survey and bio-metric screening process for our insurance. Personally, if the insurance has paid out for an annual wellness exam, that's where their need to know ends. However, they make us jump through more hoops. Then they kindly offer free advice for everything from finance management to tobacco counseling. I quit smoking 11 years ago and they thought I might be interested in information on staying quit. Whatever people! The exchange for this is a reduced rate on our insurance plan. Many people have this hoop to jump through. The company says it's for our own benefit because of the support they offer, the knowledge we gain, and the individual wellness plan for our future. Except that wellness programs don't work. They are of absolutely no benefit to anyone, expect the company that says they will only use the information obtained for our benefit. They will keep it confidential and not use it to increase rates on those who are high risk. I call bullshit on that one, too. This is really just a form of extortion. They are punishing us with several hundred dollars worth of additional fees if we don't comply with their demand. Extortion. I had refused to play the game for a long time, but last year the additional fee became prohibitive. Now we have more work to do for nothing. Our doctor has additional work for nothing. The insurance company is really the only winner because they have us over a barrel when reducing their ridiculous administrative salaries and bonuses would reduce the subscriber fees way more. Maybe then seriously ill individuals wouldn't have to create GoFundMe pages to pay for medical costs.

Swaer Trek

Yeah, Janeway. Yet swallow it we shall because we have no choice.

Sometimes we make the unfortunate life choices. Sometimes someone else makes them for us. When that happens, we have no control over it; we just have to dig deep and ultimately submit. From the global to the personal, unfortunate life choices are ever-present, ever-exhausting, and ever-vexing. Fuck 'em all.

GrabdTetomNPS

So many choices. What is a moose to do?