Splitting Hairs

My husband and I both have papers from Universal Ministries stating that by paying a small fee and filling out an online application, we now may perform any number of ceremonies like marriages or even baptisms.  This certificate, which also comes in pocket-size, is mostly symbolic and in no way means that either of us is particularly religious in any way.  The certificate’s powers allow us to perform weddings and we have; he has 2 (almost 3) and I have 1…not that I’m keeping score.  Anyway, we’ve both stood in front of a gathering of people and pronounced a couple married.  Recently though, someone told me that we “officiate,” we don’t actually marry people.  It took some prodding, but it seems the distinction this individual was trying to make is that because my husband and I are not ministers for any church this person accepts, we therefore only officiate legal unions like a justice of the peace.  Seems like splitting hairs to me.  Verb choice really?  That’s the distinction? A ceremony presided over by a JoP is somehow not really marrying the couple, it’s just officiating?  Apparently to be a marriage for this person, it must be blessed by church official like a priest since she indeed declares that she will be a Catholic until she dies.  I’m not sure I buy her argument that the ceremonies my husband I have performed are in any way less valid or true marriages.  Have you ever really investigated the history of marriage?  No?  Let me enlighten you on what I have found.

Guidelines about marriage began as a way to make sure humans kept having babies and passed property down bloodlines. Way back when we humans lived mostly nomadic and tribal style lives, marriage was really open and I do mean open to interpretation.  Not only did men actually go and essentially kidnap women for sex, in some tribes the males could be with whatever woman appealed to them and then the children from these unions belonged to the whole tribe.  Fascinating, yet primitive by our Western sensibilities I suppose.  Personally, being thwacked over the head and led away for mating, childbearing, and no real monogamous connection does not appeal.  I am a product of that whole feminism movement after all and I enjoy being able to rebuff or prosecute such advances.  Speaking of feminism, ancient Romans seemed to have the first equal status for males and females in marriage.  Interestingly, when women and men held equal rank in marriage, the birth rates declined!  The declining birth rate led Augustus to impose mandatory marriage laws.  So much for freedom and equality.  As societies moved to more agriculture based societies, the issue of property rights emerged as a concern and males wanted assurance that the kids born of their wives were actually theirs so that the possessions of the father went to his sons.  Enter the age of marriage as a contract. 

From this lovely idea of property rights, humans gained reinforcement to the idea of women as chattel.  Now instead of being open and available to all men, women were property of a man and marriages were often business dealings.  The love we now associate with marriage actually was relegated to the realm of prostitutes, male lovers, or concubines.  Marriage was business so if you wanted monkey business, seek it outside the marriage bed.  Early civilized societies had the practice of prearranged marriages complete with either the male’s family giving the bride’s family money for the woman, or the woman’s family giving the male’s family money and property for taking that pesky female off their hands.  Either way, it was business and the woman was not in control.  Marriage secured property rights for heirs and also for churches through the wills of the deceased family members.  As the churches gained more control over societies, religious influence also reached marriage.  Around the 12^th century marriages added blessings and prayers which then gave way to full on religious involvement in marriage ceremonies.  Despite this, some civilizations insisted on a secular union before a religious one because a religious union was simply not enough. Essentially, as humans progressed through the ages, the definition of marriage and how to define it varied considerably and changed based on the needs of the society.  This idea of government sanctioning marriage for legal reasons also helped shape America’s ideas of marriage.

In  Colonial America, because so many of the early European settlers escaped religious persecution elsewhere, colonies opted for civil, legal marriage rather than religious based ceremonies.  They looked to the idea of usus for their marriages which stated that living together for a year as husband and wife provided enough of a proof for marriage needed to be legally accepted.  If the wife stayed away three nights, the marriage was voided.  This idea should sound familiar since its modern version morphed into common law marriage.  Only Virginia Colony held on to religious over civil, but this too gave way eventually.  With a brief knowledge of the ancient origins through early American views on marriage, it appears that marriage frequently falls under the heading of legal contract, and that religious involvement was discretionary.  Therefore, I felt obligated to investigate specifically Catholic views on marriage to completely understand the point of distinction mentioned earlier in this article. 

In my digging for information I made rather startling discoveries regarding the Catholic Church’s involvement in marriage.  For example, in 866 Pope Nicholas I held that even if a marriage was consummated, if either party objected to the marriage, the marriage was then void.  Hmmm, veh-wee een-teresting.  By this belief, even if the two had sex, either the man or the woman could still oppose the union regardless of whether or not it was arranged by the families.  In the 13^th century the church took control of marriage as a ceremony, but still held that marriage “sprang from partners and neither the parents, nor priest, nor government could affect validity.”  Holy smoke!  If a marriage springs from the individuals’ consent, then the priest really was there as set dressing even though the church saw marriage as a sacrament.  By 1563, the sacrament of marriage appears in canonical law, but throughout the 1500’s, marriages without witnesses or priests were still common. Furthermore, according to the Catholic Encyclopedia, marriage is a “legitimate union between husband and wife” with the term legitimate defined as being sanctioned by some kind of law: natural, evangelical, or legal.  Again, marriage through the ages changes even in the sometimes unyielding Catholic Church.  By including legal in the definition of legitimate, even a civil marriage between gay and lesbian partners would be recognized as a marriage.  The priest’s blessing supposedly elevates the marriage’s union as an offering of the marriage in “importance and sacredness,” but a marriage that satisfies “legitimate union” still qualifies as marriage.  Furthermore, “most people, including most Roman Catholics do not realize that the ministers of the sacrament are the spouses themselves.”  WHAT?  So the Roman Catholic Church still follows the age old tradition that simply declaring yourself married is enough?  Just so you know, the author of this article, Scott P. Richert, is a Catholic who along with his wife attends a traditional Latin mass and he holds an advanced degree from Catholic University of America.  By this teaching, the two people who want to get married, are married as long as they say vows to one another that say they intend to contract a marriage with one another.  That’s it.  Priest or “officiant” not needed unless you want that added bonus.  By this argument, my Catholic ‘til death person is right about us not performing marriages; but neither do priests.  They too are just “officiants.”  Even with that nugget of revelation, marriages that are legally recognized like the ones my husband and I perform=valid even under Catholic scrutiny. 

Therefore the only barrier to defining the unions and the act of performing those unions that my husband and I perform as marriage is the individual in question.  That is her issue to resolve if she indeed views our marriage rites as less than marriage.  For me and my husband, those ceremonies and the ones yet to come are marriages.  Period.  For that “Catholic until the day I die,” she can have her marriage.  She can call it marriage in whatever fashion she defines it along with her husband.  Those other couples though-- asked us to be a part of one of the most important days of their lives.  Clearly, those couples’ marriages satisfy any definition of marriage out there…and I refuse to diminish the status of those marriages or our role in celebrating them to anything less than the beautiful portrayal of love and devotion that they are.   

Regret--what is "gret" and why should I ever re- it?

Do you ever play your least greatest hits back over and over again in your head?  You sit there in quiet contemplation about something else when all of a sudden you start remembering all that cringe-worthy shit you've ever done for absolutely no good reason other than to make yourself feel completely awful and ashamed?  My hindsight's been kicking my ass for about a week and I have no idea why other than a recent lupus flare kept me immobile with very little to do other than dig around in my head and blow dust off some stuff I should have set out for the garbage man to haul away.

Combine immobility with my natural introversion and viola!  We have weirdness in my gray matter.  Being an introvert makes me intensely prone to reflective thinking.  Usually this is productive for me, but not lately.  It's like I go rooting around in my noggin for an idea and WHAMMO!  This memory of something horrendous I did years ago jumps out at me like the Boogie Man.  What the hell is that about?  I've done a lot of work to move past those things and to live in the present because there's absolutely nothing I can do about the past and all that other healthy wellness advice that I truly do believe in. Yet, there it is.  Some random and not so complimentary or unsavory thing I did years ago looms.  It threatens to expose me like a blackmailer looking for some hush money.

What. The. Hell.

Then two things happened: 1) I got a massage from a friend and 2) I went to coffee with another friend.

Let me tell you about my friend the massage therapist. She's amazing.  Really.  I don't go out and chat and all that stuff with her that often because as I said--introvert.  OK, borderline recluse.  Anyway, she's got these liquid hazel brown eyes, naturally buoyant hair I would love to have, a killer dragonfly tattoo and we've had some fairly in-depth philosophical discussions that have helped me get out of ruts in the past. We visited back and forth a bit, got caught up and she basically massaged the crap out of my sore and achy muscles so that I promptly took a nap when I got home.  It was bliss.  I probably don't tell her enough how wonderful she is.  She really is fantastic.  She plays flute and she's always been drop dead talented.  I've never told her that I admire that about her, but I do.  I could never do that.  Her ability to play flute solo or with an ensemble is something you should experience some time.  As spaced out as I was after that massage, I started thinking about how awesome she is and couldn't help but smile.

Now for my coffee bud.  We've had an interestingly complicated friendship to say the least.  Way too much history to go into here.  She's a lot younger than me, but we also have a lot in common like a passion for the written word.  One thing I've always enjoyed about her is her zeal for life.  An opportunity presents itself and she goes for it.  She will pick herself up and move across country, which is something I have never done.  She's always struck me as someone who wants to experience everything this world has to offer and if it sucks, she's gonna go find something else to entertain her and the ugliness can just kiss her ass.  She's also dealt with way too much heartbreak and grief for someone her age.  Here she is in her prime and emotionally she's treading water.  At one point we were discussing her current relationship and she asked what I would do in that situation.  Before I had a chance to respond, she said, "You'd never be in this situation," to which I kind of scoffed.  After all the self-imposed regret montages I had endured the past week, I found that remark rather ironic.  My friend is in pain.  I know not how to help her other than to be here if she needs it.  I wish I knew exactly what to say to her to help her heal, but I don't.  I just know that the world is more interesting with her in it and I hope she knows that.

There you have it.  Two of the people I am blessed with knowing and calling friends.  These two women whether they know it or not brought me out of my head and back into life.  In the past, I've done rituals to cleanse and help me move on etc.  However, I am so fortunate to have these phenomenal women in my life and appreciating them for all their wondrous being worked better than a charm.  All of my friends are so important to me and yet I don't know that I tell them enough.  You see it doesn't matter who I was in the past.  I did some shit.  I learned from it.  I don't do that shit anymore because I figured out it wasn't who I was or who I wanted to be.  Despite that shit, these two people willingly seek me out for coffee or a movie.  For that, I am profoundly thankful.

And my Greatest Hits Regret Edition can suck it.

Lughnasadh

Post Lughnasadh Greetings to you all!

Per my usual, I spent this year's Lughnasadh up at the lake.  It was delightful as the full moon coincided with the sabbat.  Each of the 3 nights of the full moon I excitedly watched as the moon crept over the mountain before bathing the campground and lake in glorious and brilliant light.  I didn't even need the flashlight I took down to the lakeside the first night because the moon was that bright!  Breathtaking and wondrous.

As for the sabbat itself, I woke that morning and did the typical camping morning routine of hygiene and coffee before sitting down to ponder the deeper meanings of Lughnasadh.  If you don't know, this happens to be the first harvest of the sabbats and it is in essence the Wiccan thanksgiving.  You can read more about the Celtic God Lugh who lends his name to the sabbat here or on the festival itself at this entry.

I spent some time talking with my husband about what the sabbat means and reflecting on what we felt was going well this past year.  Some time after that I composed a list of what I believed improved over the last year and what still needs to get moving.  This is one of the suggested methods to reflect on your own personal harvest.  Pleasantly I noted that my list of "Needs More Time" was far shorter than my "Wow This Is Awesome."

• I am extremely grateful that for the first time in several years my husband got to camp with me the whole week of our vacation.  For the last few years, he's either been there for a few nights or not at all. 
• I am also grateful for my husband having found a job that does not require him to travel for weeks or months at a time.
• This summer I received an offer for a part time online tutoring job which along with my regular job and my husband's job means that we will be free of some major debt by this time next year.  Whew!  The end is near.
• I received a bailout of my very own this year as well which will absolve me of a portion of my student loan debt. This makes it that much easier to pay off that previously mentioned debt.
• I am reading even more than I used to if that is possible. I am reading a large variety of books as well, which is what I had hoped for this year.  For example, I read Stranger in a Strange Land while camping.  I can cross that off my "Classics to be Read" list.
• I am more fit than I have been in a long time and I have maintained my weight loss and lifestyle changes that helped me get back into single digit clothing.  You should see my arms.  Seriously--I cannot believe how fantastic they look.  They are strong and lovely and still feminine.  
• We have the most amazing garden that is providing an abundance of vegetables for the winter.  I wanted to devote more time to the garden and it has paid off in spades!
• I continue to be more honest and open with my parents and other people about myself.  I am a major introvert and a very private person, but I set a goal to be more open and to answer as honestly as possible any questions about my beliefs.  So far, so good.
• My husband and I remain close physically, emotionally, and philosophically.  I cannot tell you how much I value the fact that even when no one else seems to get it, he does.  
• Bellydance remains my creative and performance outlet.  I have been at it for about 5 years now and it still amazes me to watch my fellow dancers develop their abilities.  I love the camaraderie and the opportunities I have had because of this artistic expression.  I set out to go to a national bellydance festival this year and viola!  I will be doing that in about a month.  

Not a bad harvest eh?  Therefore, I was moved to write my own Lughnasadh words of celebration.  

Radiant Sun,

Through your warmth our garden thrives.

As your time each day wanes, 

We thank you for your bounty

And wish you safe journey

Toward winter's embrace.

Gentle Moon, 

Remind us of life's cycle.

As your lover weakens,

We thank you for these lessons.

Content in your presence,

And joyful harvest.

Grant us your wisdom with every bite,

Sow within us nature's rhythm with every sip,

I am thankful.

To Have and To Hold

Greetings to you all.  Hopefully you are well and enjoying the summer.  As always, many weddings have come and gone this season and more will follow. For now though, I must discuss an unfortunate wedding-related event that recently consumed my thoughts: chauvinism. 

Let me set the scene:

A young woman and her mother sit close together planning the twenty-two year old’s wedding which will happen in about a month.  Much to accomplish on the pre-wedding to-do list for these two women who busily attend to each item on the list.  As they discuss the decorations and the menu and the song list, the mother lovingly offers this pearl of marital wisdom to her daughter:

“Honey, when you marry you will follow your husband’s family’s set of traditions.  On holidays, you will go to his family or you will follow their traditions in your own home.  When I married your father, we celebrated with his family as you know.  It wasn’t until your father’s parents both passed that we spent a holiday with my parents.  This is what you will do when you marry.”

I cannot express to you my outrage and my disbelief upon hearing this true to life story happening in today’s world.  First of all, why does the husband’s family tradition take priority?  In a marriage, the two people should decide together what their plans will be.  Saying that the woman should submit to the man’s way of doing things cuts off any discussion or relationship building between these two young people.  It deepens the notion that men rule the household and women have no authority or voice beyond what the man grants.  Secondly, just because the mom decided in her marriage to handle it this way does not mean that the daughter should follow.  Now, if the bride-to-be and husband-to-be decide together that this is how their marriage should be, then I cannot argue that because they made that decision together.  I think it’s wrong and I think it’s harmful to them as well as to any children who are then raised in this belief, but it thankfully is not my marriage.  Despite the fact that I believe in a couple’s right to live with this marital structure, perpetuating this kind of chauvinism in families does little to move us forward as a land of equality.

Now what does this have to do with Wicca or paganism?  Well, the above situation transpired between a devoutly Catholic mother and her daughter.  No surprise that chauvinism would be present in this family since their religion teaches gender hierarchy through excluding women from being priests and the recent attack on American nuns, right?  They also have a creation myth based on the idea that women are the reason humans fell from grace.  This isn’t a harsh on Catholics post, so I will stop there, but it is necessary to understand the full situation so we can then look at the pagan perspective in comparison.

In Wicca, the Lord and the Lady are frequently seen as equals.  In some popular creation myths, the Lady comes first and when the Lord shows up in the plot, there’s no shame or guilt or fall from grace to support either gender being superior.  The Lord and Lady each see to different elements of life on earth.  They walk in love sharing this world in a beautiful balance.  Their relationship myth shows a respect for one another and a unity of purpose for their life together.  Under this model for marriage each participant is valued and appreciated.  The married couple moves through life mutually choosing celebrations and traditions as a couple.  As a couple they discuss, they create, and at times they argue, but they build a life together based on mutual esteem and love.  Neither party makes the other feel lesser or like his/her opinions have no merit because the other party has superiority or dominion over the other. 

This is what the Wiccan creation myth teaches about marriage.  It is beautiful.  It is respect.  It is divinely inspired unity.

Therefore why on earth would anyone ever willingly give up his/her own self-determination just because he/she got married?  That makes no sense to me whatsoever.  It seems to demean the beauty of marriage.  It reduces the woman to chattel that live in the father’s home for so long and then get traded to the husband. If that’s not just backwards thinking I don’t know what is. Frankly, I want no part of it.  Thankfully, my husband doesn’t either.

To Sit in Solemn Silence

I adore camping.  I am incredibly fortunate to live in a state rife with opportunities for the camping minded to escape the press of city life.  Recently, my husband and I made our first pilgrimage into the wilderness to spend an extended weekend in the woods.  I went to the woods to think deliberately about a question posed by a favorite author of mine who asked that we discuss the difference/similarity of religion and magic. 

This was my intention.

This is not what happened.

As I sat in my comfy camp chair with a low flame campfire casting a tangerine glow on the surrounding ground, I observed a sliver of light peeking through the towering pines.  I knew that we’d planned this trip during the days leading up to the full moon, but oh my!  How breathtaking to witness the moon gaining her girth in a setting removed from all electric power.  As I sat there in quiet contemplation, I actually started weeping.  The light of the moon cast a shadow as I walked away from the firelight.  The bold brilliance caught me off-guard.  For the last few months, it’s been cloudy around the full moon.  We were deprived the joy of witnessing the supermoon even!  This waxing moon however demanded my attention as it made its gentle path across the heavens.  My mind enrapt attention failed to register how anyone could possibly not be moved by such observation.  It occurred to me that pre-industrial age humans must have been awed watching this glowing orb as it changed each night and journeyed across the sky.  How could they not?  Is it any wonder that they created stories about this mysterious object that at times appeared in the daylight and at others not at all?  What a wondrous moment of solitude gazing at a simple rock radiating splendor.  I was stupefied.

Each night I eagerly awaited the moon’s return to see how it had changed from the previous night.  The magnificence enthralled and calmed me.  It caused me to ponder other ideas and to sit in reflective quietude.

“Thus, for the people living today in the forests of the Piraparana`, the entire natural world is saturated with meaning and cosmological significance.  Every rock and animals are but distinct physical manifestations of the same essential spiritual essence.” Page 79, Wade Davis The Wayfinders

I recently finished reading The Wayfinders  for this month’s book club discussion.  In the book he describes different cultures that have amazing creation myth stories that influence every aspect of their lives.  Because of views like the one in the above passage, these humans would never think to kill another living thing without permission from their deities.  They kill for livelihood and they kill with reverence. 

“Meat is not the right of the hunter but a gift from the spirit world.  To kill without permission is to risk death by a spirit guardian…” page 81

This view applies to plants as well as animals.  As a result, these tribes develop a method to manage what resources they have so as not to live out of balance with the natural world.  They observe what is around them and create beautiful stories of their origins and what will happen should they offend the cosmic rules they establish.  They respect the world around them as a living, breathing entity worthy of respect and care and at times caution.  Reading this book reminded me of my own natural world ponderings around the fire.  The beauty of the world around us was and is awe-inspiring.  Learning to live in a world while recalling that it is indeed finite should give anyone pause.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t.  For example the campground neighbors we had one night were not what I would describe as those who see the earth as having anything spiritual about it.  These individuals, when given the need to pack up, opted to chop down a young birch tree to retrieve their hanging lantern when they could have cut the rope instead.  This is not to say that I haven’t made my mistakes interacting with nature mind you, but it shocked me that chopping the tree was preferable to cutting the rope. 

Furthermore, in Davis’ book he describes the atrocities of imperialism and assimilation of cultures.  We are all familiar with what was done to the tribes of North American Indians or the Aborigines of Australia.  However, it is still happening.  These humans who have survived according to their beliefs and cultures are still fighting the march of progress as it encroaches closer to their world.  Instead of learning from the past, Western development continues on both small and large scale to grab all it can and squeeze the stone until it bleeds.  I’m left asking what will sate this progress? What will it take to stop civilization from taking just because it can? 

Wonder.  I have concluded that when we lose that sense of wonder about nature is when we lose that last bit of innocence.  When we no longer gaze at the moon and feel moved by its beauty we move into a realm where it becomes easier to consume without thought.  We begin to objectify our surroundings and eventually that leads to a lack of respect for humans who don’t.  Clearly it is absurd to a rational mind to think that the milk of life from the Amazon mother flows in the river.  Therefore let rational people build a dam or cut down the trees on the banks or fish for that one species that is so tasty or even let’s just take these savages and move them to a location where we can educate them so they don’t have to live like this any longer. 

I value science and progress.  I love my Nook that allows me to read any book I want and also surf the internet.  I like having a truck so when the winter winds and storms blow I don’t have to walk through it to get to work.  However, I hope I never lose the sense of wonder that moved me to weep as I reveled in the moonlight.

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.  We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Albert Einstein

Summer Solstice

Litha is the longest day of the year when the sun is at his full might.  Therefore fire imagery is strong on this day.  A bonfire again is common.  Fire purifies the woe and the discord and gives warmth to life.  Common herbs are lavender (personal favorite), chamomile, and vervain.  Harvesting herbs on this night and drying them by the bonfire is said to increase potency in the herbs for magical workings.  White is a common color as is gold for the sun.  Many who use mirrors for magical dealings will cleanse and then absorb the midsummer magic into the mirrors for future use as well.  Summer fruits of course provide the menu—cherries, apricots, and plums for example are tasty at any time this day.  My ritual bowl was brimming with them.

In the past I have performed full blown rituals, rituals outside, simplified rituals at a campground as well as shared rituals with friends in the backyard which entailed burning packets of summer herbs while pouring all of the negativity I felt at the time into the little packet and watching it get cleansed by the fire.  There are many possibilities, but I must say I really enjoy being outside for this ritual rather than in the basement where most of my rituals occur.  Being in a short season for outdoor rituals area Litha is typically one of those celebrations that I relish the opportunity to be outside making merry.  I would really have preferred to be out of town for solstice--somewhere in the mountains.  Alas!  I have workshops all week and couldn't get out of city limits this year.

If I am inside though, I will use a green candle for the Goddess and gold candle for the God on my altar as well as either a white or a gold cloth.  Outdoors though, I cut way back on the accoutrement.  The idea is the same however—asking that the God cleanse what isn’t currently working and thank the Goddess for her continued energy to propel forward what is working.

Blazing God, I feel the fire of your passion burning in all life.
Mother Goddess I see the earth full to bursting with the fruit of your bounty.
On this night of unequaled magic
Fires flame to their zenith in the Lord and Lady’s combined joy.

This is when I would place the summer herbs into the white packet and tie it with a red ribbon.  On the paper used as an envelope I would write what I see going well and what needs a bit of cleansing.

Midsummer fire burning bright
Take these items from my life and world
Purify them in the Lord’s fervent light.


Midsummer fire glowing sight
Take these items from my life and world
Nourish them to the Lady’s delight.

Simple feast and thanks then close.

Please Allow Me to Introduce My Brain

I apologize for not posting for a few weeks.  I fully intended to do so.  However my mind prefers to continually race at unearthly speeds thereby devouring so much information that at times it overwhelms me.  Consequently, I have been at a loss of where to begin.  That said, I’ll say the crux of this post plainly.

I don’t believe in God.

The story that kicked off this most recent introspection on faith happened to be about a Mormon woman whose husband told her quietly before bed that he no longer believed.  This deeply moving article provided a different perspective for me.  I have read countless stories about Catholics who no longer believe, but this was the first by a Mormon that I have read.  The tone of the article touched me to my core.    Her tale reflects what is so often overlooked or disregarded—we disbelievers spend a great deal of time pondering this notion.  It does not just occur.  We reflect, we pray, we consider, we study and ultimately we use the magnificent lump of grey matter in our skulls to reason out what we truly believe about spirituality and our place in the universe. We can reach a conclusion that may not agree with everything that we’ve been taught to believe up to that point, but we made the choice for ourselves and guess what?  We can do it peacefully without condemning or harassing others who still believe.  As we close the door on the church we’ve always known, we also open doors to new kinds of equally valuable relationships.

What astonished me the most this week involved the number of articles that described clergy men and women who are leaving their faiths and discovering comfort in some of those new and valuable relationships.  If people who have dedicated their lives to delivering God’s message can find themselves doubting to the point they describe themselves as atheist—what does that say about the state of faith in America?  This is the flipside to that coin that keeps getting thrown around when policy decisions run up against religion.  The Clergy Project provides a much needed network of support for these people who find themselves ostracized and threatened and suddenly without security of home and finance.  In the CNN article, Dewitt raises an interesting point: he’s still ministering, just a little differently than he used to.  How beautiful is that?  It acknowledges that his ministering changed over time as his understanding and belief changed, but he’s still ministering to people in need.  Clearly we can still be compassionate and loving counselors to one another even without deferring to a supreme being.  The Clergy Project started with about 52 members last year.  It now lists 285 on its homepage.  With the coverage it has been receiving, I bet it continues to grow.  The clergy men and women are fortunate to have this connection and I hope that it continues to assist them.  Each story I’ve read lately includes a common thread beyond the loss of faith; they include a lack of animosity toward the religion they leave—even toward the members of their congregation who threaten them.

The lack of animosity suggests to me that these people truly spent time deep in contemplation about their beliefs and therefore reached peace in their decision.  I too am at that point.  While it would be easy for me to cite the priest abuse scandal or the Vatican’s war on nuns as reasons for anger and be perfectly justified in that outrage, I tend not to take that tack.  Don’t get me wrong—both of those situations are horrifying to me, but I can forgive them and be completely thankful that I do not recognize the infallibility of the Pope.  That lump of grey matter in my skull tells me holding on to anger about these situations would serve no purpose.  While these two situations appall me and revolt me, they are not the only reasons why I will not describe myself as Catholic.  Greta Christina posted a fantastic article about the topten reasons she doesn’t believe in God and I tend to agree with the article wholeheartedly. I’ve read a couple of articles from Big Think lately about how we continue to discover consciousness as part of the brain, not a soul gifted us by God.  Through MRIs and photon emission computed topography now we know that prayer and meditation and speaking in tongues affect the brain in very specific ways—it alters our consciousness.  If someone wants to call that evidence of God moving through them, fine. However I do not.  When I am deep in meditation or visualization I know I am tapping into a part of my brain that apparently is dedicated specifically for this purpose and it produces some amazing sensations and experiences. To me though, it’s not some supernatural supreme entity saying “Hi!” It’s my brain doing something that takes a lot of practice to do.  It feels amazing and euphoric and it benefits my health and well being therefore I do it.  It’s no wonder that humans created all these amazing lush stories to explain this effect.  It’s no wonder we created fantastical myths to explain the world around us and all of its beauty.  Yet now we know other explanations exist.  There are no turtles supporting the world.  There is no Mount Olympus where Zeus rules all.  There are no demons at the core of our planet; it’s made of our original Earthly core and a gigantic Mars-sized pseudo planet that hit Earth a really long time ago causing both Earth’s axis tilt and the formation of the moon.

My husband and I also recently began watching Carl Sagan’s Cosmos on Netflix.  I love a little brain stimulation about the universe and he likens it to Mr. Rogers in space.  In one of the early episodes they show an experiment that uses just the essential, basic gases like helium being squirted into a glass container and guess what happens?  Given enough time those gases combine to create the primordial sludge of life.  Hmm…ponderous is it not?  Allow that brown goo some more time and those little bacteria etc. will begin the process of evolution.  I do not believe in Adam and Eve.  It’s a lovely tale, but it’s not how things happened.

I’m sure you might be wondering how I can call myself a solitary Wiccan given this perspective.  Surely there must be a different label that better fits.  Well, believe it or not paganism and specifically for me Wicca fit the best in my understanding of the universe so far.  Granted I am heavily influenced by the works of cosmology like Carl Sagan and I disregard a lot of dogma that some schools of Wicca insist upon.  There's that lump of grey matter at work again.  You see, from studying the universe I have learned the moon was part of earth.  Now it’s not and without it, our planet would wobble around worse than a bowl full of jelly.  Our climate would be uncontrollable and we’d probably die soon after the moon goes away.  The moon stabilizes this beautiful planet.  It controls the tides so our land masses are not almost completely submerged by water.  It provides the gravity we need to stay on just the right tilt to the sun.  The sun also exerts a little gravitational pull to keep us in the sweet spot.  Thanks to this lovely balance life as we know it exists.  Pagans got this part right—the sun and moon help us thrive.  Without either one, we’d perish.  I believe in the power of nature and that magical thinking is enough.