Dear Body That I have Royally Pissed Off

Dear Body,
 I am so sorry I pissed you off. I'm sorry I forget to treat you right when I go on vacation. I am sorry I don't find ways to bring all the treatment regimens and therapies with me on road trips. Let's face it though. Coconut oil doesn't travel well and eating out is not always easy to adhere to Paleo/Primal foods.

OK, fine. I could've made better eating choices. I stand by the statement on coconut oil though. Any time you want to cease the mouth sores, that'd be great.

I am sorry I drank so many teas with sugar--real cane or otherwise--instead of just water while we traveled. I love Peace Tea and just shouldn't have tried for the other brands. I should have only enjoyed one or two Peace Teas instead of looking for one every time we stopped to gas up on our trip. I know too much sugar makes my joints ache and my muscles scream, which they were going to do anyway because it is a long ass haul in a car from here to Denver, yet I still partook and told myself that I was just keeping hydrated because I was on vacation.

I suppose I could get one Peace Tea and bring home brewed tea in a cooler to avoid the sugar.

I'm sorry I ate buns with my ever-so-delicious locally sourced and grass fed burger in Lander. I am sorry I had a locally produced bun on my locally produced sausage at the brew pub in Billings. I'm sorry I indulged in a Lucille's decadent biscuit with homemade jams. I'm sorry I had biscuits and gravy instead of just eggs and sausage and yogurt at the hotel breakfast bar. I'm sorry I ate the homemade biscuits from the adorable little family owned cafe in Billings.  I know these wheat filled indulgences cause my gut to cramp and eventually stop moving as they should, but I did it anyway because I was on vacation.

My gut screaming for mercy.

I'm sorry I ate so many potatoes. I told myself since Whole 30 and Paleo allow for them now, it'd be OK. I'm sorry I ordered the fries with my burger even though they were long and fresh  cut at the pub and not frozen. I'm sorry I didn't ask for the potatoes to be left out of my Creole scramble. I'm sorry for not opting out of the hash browns with my omelette. Russets aren't very nutritionally sound I know, but they make delicious hash browns and fries. I guess I just missed them too much to worry about the consequences just then. I did realize the error of my ways on our last day and I ordered a side salad instead of fries, but the damage was already done. I have no defense for my actions other than I was on vacation.

 

Ashamed goat hides its head in shame.

I am sorry I didn't wear long sleeves in the car. I am sorry I didn't faithfully count the hours in order to reapply that floral scented sunscreen my husband bought. In his defense, he didn't know it stunk to high heaven. It was Neutrogena after all. It should not have been so revoltingly floral. But it was awful, which is likely why I was loath to reapply. I did wear the zinc faithfully on my face. I also wore the floppy hat. However, the small, red blistery things on my arms tell me that I came close to lesions. I also know that some of the muscle soreness is likely from the sun exposure. I am purchasing UV cover-ups for California. Truce?

I'll do better. Please?

Anyway body, I hope you find it in yourself to forgive me soon. The constipation, bloating, cramping, aching, soreness, and generally mind-blowing fatigue are all at about maximum tolerance. You've risen up and smacked me hard. I know you're angry. I know I must do better. I will do better. Please forgive me.

Sincerely,

Me