Modify, Modify, Modify!

A local theater group is producing Anton Chekov's "Cherry Orchard". I wanted to audition when I saw the notice. Classical theater is my bread and butter. However, I've been in the never ending migraine cycle it seems, so I didn't audition. Well, a friend sent me an email that they had to recast a part due to the woman having medical issues. Ha! That was rich. Anyway, the part is my age and by the description, it would be perfect for me. However, I can't trust my head to cooperate. I've  been in a migraine cycle for more than two weeks. I don't know if I can withstand 6 weeks of rehearsal and then performances, especially since they have two performances on Sunday. I need some recovery time in order to get to work Monday through Friday. I really hate to pass up this opportunity, but I fear I must

Yup. That's what I'll be doing instead, Goat. Just sitting.

Everyone's fairly aware of food and environmental triggers when it comes to migraines. Some foods like cheese or drinks like wine can put some people on pain's path. At times, strong scents like perfumes or colognes can do it. I'm looking at you Axe Body Spray! Regardless of what starts them, they require a fair amount of changes like saying no in order for a person to be functional.

Otherwise this happens.

One thing that I've done recently is to add Nightlight to my screen displays both at home and at work. I first used the app at home, and it really helped save my eyes strain and my head pain. It's muted instead of glaring, which makes a world of difference. I didn't think something so small would help so much. It took a bit more in order to get the app on my school computer, but it's there now and I love it.

Yay me! It's the little things.

I've also brought some long strings of white Christmas lights to my classroom. I put the chili peppers on one strand and left the other one white. I also have the shades pulled down behind my desk and about halfway down on the other two so there's enough light to work. I leave the light off most of the time now except for first period when it's still dark outside. My students seem to prefer it that way. I do too. It surprised me how much those stupid florescent lights were really impeding my progress at school. I'm likely going to pick up some floor lamps from a second hand store next. The softer light is soothing rather than painful.

What? Too dark?

Unfortunately, a couple times a week I still awake with a migraine, which mens modifying my morning. On those days, I have to drink my water and lie back with an ice pack in the dark while the coffee brews. Instead of yoga, I just put on some relaxing music and sit. The triptan and ibuprofen have some time to kick in before the coffee's ready. No yoga, no work out, no morning news, no light housework; I just have to lie back and await the relief. Sometimes it doesn't come until after my shower, but it comes. My morning routine is different and slower and more nauseated, but it's the difference between staying home or getting to work. I still need to take it more slowly for a while at work, but it gets easier. Generally.

Of course, this also could happen.

If the pain comes at work, I have to wait to take my triptan until an open period or lunch. I can't just pop one if I'm teaching. They really work best if I can sit in the dark and let it do its thing. Continuing to move around and try to teach is just counterproductive. I've also started avoiding hall duty between classes when I have a migraine. I'm out there faithfully otherwise, but when the pain sets in, hallway duty is more than I can take. I also avoid the stairs after the hall clears. I email and make phone calls rather than going in person to avoid the imbalance of trying to move around. Sometimes, I can't even email without reading and rereading several times to make sure it makes sense. Sometimes I can't call because my speech is a bit slurry and my head so foggy I can't get the right words out of mouth. I must be patient with myself, which is difficult. Some days, I just have to push back my to-dos. I have to do these things in order to survive. I don't owe anyone any explanation. It just has to be this way and I have to allow myself to let go of the other demands in my head. I hate feeling like I can't do what I know I should. But it's necessary.

Actual image of my brain function  during migraine cycles.

This was the first weekend I haven't been completely laid up with a migraine. It's been glorious. My husband and I went to Thor and to Star Wars. I did housecleaning that I had neglected because I couldn't bring myself to do it with the migraine. Trust me, it was harder than it sounds to ignore the chores. Anyway, we made dinner, I am filling out Yule cards, and I am planning to finally get into my new Anne Rice novel. that I should have finished long ago if not for the repetitive migraine I've had lately Despite this reprieve, I can't help feeling a bit of impending doom. I don't know when another will hit, and it makes me jumpy. For now though, I'll take what I can get and take comfort in the modifications I am able to make.

Looks like you could use a nap, Moose. I know how you feel.