In My Head

Another weekend is winding down. My husband and I decided to take this weekend off after gardening, house painting, and roof re-shingling. We've had a couple of busy weekends and really needed a weekend off. Of course, my weekend off still entailed cleaning and laundry and other little chores, but we did get some genuine relaxation in. However little gnawing thoughts kept entering my noggin and forcing me to resolve them. Even when my body is present and pleasantly engrossed in Netflixing The Walking Dead, I still find time to gnaw the cud of cultural issues that are vexing my thoughts.

Thinking goat's got some serious hashing out of personal truths going on.

The current political climate continues to cause consternation. I know who I will vote for, but it astonishes me the number of my logical and rather progressive minded friends who want to vote for Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. Yes he is appealing in that he wants to legalize marijuana, he wants to promote civil liberties (although that pesky Equal Rights Amendment wasn't necessary--their platform, not mine), and he seems to be without email scandal or big money interests paying him off. Maybe that's why he didn't seem to recognize Aleppo--no one paid him to pay attention. Oh! and that Environmental Protection Agency is a frivolous agency that isn't strictly sanctioned by the Constitution. Besides the sun is just going to take the Earth out somewhere in the way distant future, so why try and make the world better now? That's ridiculous. While we're at it, we don't need the Supreme Court saying that homosexuals deserve things like marriage rights and wedding cakes because after all, should not the free market determine whether or not those businesses succeed rather than some silly law telling them not to discriminate? Because, you know, not shutting down discrimination through a national stance for equal rights for everyone works.

Oh wait. No it doesn't. That doesn't work at all. Fuck voting for Gary Johnson. 

Then there's the racial tension on the Internet and some news sources. Another fucking shooting of a black man. Another officer facing charges. A football player peacefully protests to draw attention to an issue that he feels deeply about. Yet, people still don't want to admit that racism has been and continues to be an issue in America. The Civil Rights Movement did a lot, but to think it accomplished its goals and is no longer relevant is stupid. Racism exists and to deny it seems like just another way to protect ourselves and our privilege. You see, my husband and my mom got a little heated in the topic this weekend. My mom has family and friends who live in metropolitan areas and in Southern border states. These individuals counsel her that we don't know the real issues and can't possibly have any idea of the tribulations because we live in fairly rural Montana. Umm, ok, so the increase in migrant workers or the increase in drug trafficking through our state, or oh yeah! That border less than two hours to the north means we can't possibly know what is going on in other regions or cities. You know what I think? I think telling someone from our area that we can't possibly know the real horrors is a convenient way to ignore the problem. It says that institutionalized racism is ok. It further divides people along tribal like boundaries. It protects privilege and keeps us from examining issues. It plugs our ears from listening to the marginalized in society and seeks to keep us apart. Sometimes it takes an outsider to point to the problems and pull them into the light. Racism is an issue. Police need better training in non-gun ways to diffuse situations with all people so that not only white people are taken into custody and people of color are not mistakenly shot in disproportionate numbers. 

Be the beagle! Open your ears and really listen to those who lack the power in the situation.

In other news, I am trying to learn my lines for the play. It's harder than it used to be. I'm tired as fuck most of the time because I can't seem to get a handle on the lupus. My husband finished shingling our roof, but he's hurting because he can't take ibuprofen along with his Otezla; autoimmune conditions suck ass. The restaurant where I belly dance got evicted because the refinery bought their lease and gave them four days to vacate. These good people lost their livelihood and our community lost a cultural, non-chain restaurant. A young woman from my high school was murdered Friday night and social media was covering it--for good or ill-- more than the local media was. Horrors. Injustices. Misery. Despite it all, life keeps pushing on. I can't help thinking of my favorite line of literature: So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Keep guiding the way forward green light. Remind us of the past, but keep us moving forward with the knowledge and the compassion to make it better for not only ourselves, but also our fellow humans.