In Harm's Way

I’ve been grappling with how to put my thoughts into words for this post all weekend.  This topic is one that I don’t take lightly and one that weighs on my conscience heavily.  You see, today is Memorial Day.

Last week my mom asked if we were interested in doing anything for Memorial Day as in a barbecue or family dinner.  I declined citing my regularly scheduled Monday night classes.  Of course, that’s only part of the reason I wouldn’t want a barbecue.

Memorial Day was one of those holidays growing up that I never fully understood I suppose.  There was innocence to it.  It meant that I didn’t have school and that school in fact was almost out for the summer.  In high school it meant that there would be an invitation for us band members to play at the cemetery.  It meant that we would hopefully have decent weather for all the events that would be scheduled for outdoors as the summer season kicked off its shoes and basked in the light of the sun.

But that’s not what it’s really about.

This photo blog appeared in my news stream this morning.  These photographs bring gravity to the day for me.  They show people.  Soldiers yes, but people first and foremost.  People who, for the most part, had no choice but to go into military service thanks to the draft.  Some of course volunteered readily I am sure.  All of them did what was their duty according to the expectation of the time.  However, these pictures ask us to look beyond the idealized and romanticized concept of the hero soldier and to see the human in the fatigues.  The human who chanced to meet Marilyn Monroe, the human who stared down the bell of a sousaphone and was not deafened, the human in a moment of solitude taking a whack at the golf ball in the open air and the humans finding time for a bit normalcy in video games in a place that in no way represents what we here in America see on a normal day.  However, for those in the military, these images represent stolen moments of calm amongst otherwise horrific and impossible situations.

A friend of mine who is in the military and who has served multiple tours in the Middle East posted this snippet from The Blaze.  My friend and his military buddies of course were offended by the pundits’ discussion.  Unfortunately, I think my friend’s emotional gut reaction of how he sees himself and his fellow service members interfered with his hearing the actual discussion.  The pundits aren’t trying to insult the individuals.  They aren’t trying to demean in any way the job the military personnel are commanded to do.  It seems to me that these pundits are attempting a conversation on the efficacy of a policy that is tossing about a word that bears a tremendous force: hero.  For them, the panel members on this show, the word hero is losing its significance because the nation has been in sustained conflicts for its longest period in our history.  Our national policy has become one of war and devastation for the service members as well as the civilians.  The constant din of the War Machine numbs us to the actuality of the war itself.  The pundits may not be expressing themselves very well and my friend and other military personnel may not listen beyond the notion that these talking heads are reluctant to use the word hero to describe the military, but the point is important.  We’ve been doing this war thing so long that we are becoming desensitized to what it all means.  We’ve created countless heroes; so many that the word itself no longer holds the impact or meaning that it once did.  We lack the words to describe the countless deaths of soldiers both on foreign soil and at home.  We lack an accurate word for a man whose vehicle is blown up as he drives along a desert road.  We lack an accurate word for the woman hit by a stray bullet.  We lack a word for human lost in despair from all that still toils inside even though the tour of duty ended.  Hero used to connote something, but because of the constancy of overseas entanglements we run the risk of losing that meaning.  Perpetuating the hero archetype seems to lead to condoning the act of war—condoning the act of putting soldiers and civilians alike in positions of intolerable cruelty where they lose their humanity bit by bit.

Think I’m wrong?  Recently a top military officer unleashed a firestorm for calling the suicides by military personnel selfish.  I used to think that suicide was selfish.  It was one way I could keep myself from committing suicide because to me, I didn’t want to be selfish.  I didn’t think of myself as selfish.  Somehow, I don’t think the military men and women thought of themselves as selfish either.  I find it difficult to believe that these individuals would have thought about suicide if they had not first been in a position of war. I cannot fathom the torturous moments these people endured both in war and at home.  I know my cousin returned home from the first Iraqi war changed.  Not only did he display symptoms of the nebulous Gulf War Syndrome, but his wife would frequently find him shaking uncontrollably under the bed.  Sometimes he’d scream out in his sleep.  A friend of mine struggles to maintain his every day life after serving in the current Middle East conflict.  His Post Traumatic Stress impedes his ability to live a life of quiet contentment.  It disrupts his family’s sense of unity.  He is forever a changed man.  Numerous stories exist about the human cost of war.  These real stories run counter to the idealized hero soldier we who never go to war want to believe in so deeply.  They question that iconic coming home and feeling safe once again in the knowledge that what was achieved served a greater purpose and all is right now that the soldier is home.  These men and women have lived through an ordeal none can fully appreciate unless we’ve been there ourselves.  The image of hero is changing. 

I suppose that is what is so devastating.  We want to hold up these individuals for the duty they have performed.  We want to celebrate them for doing something few of us want to do.  We want them to know on the one hand we value them and that we  remember, but what do we really remember?  If we knew all about PTSD and suicide rates of soldiers would we be so cavalier about allowing our elected officials to send more humans into battle and think that a parade and a “thank you” now and then is enough?  Calling them heroes—is that enough to somehow be ok with the fallout?  I cannot help but think we as humans must evolve to another form of settling our conflicts because if we keep going to war we will never fully remember what that means. 

Humans are resilient.  Humans are resourceful.  Humans are capable of fantastic feats of compassion, empathy, creation and cooperation.  When I remember our military on this day, it is with sincere gratitude and hope that their ultimate sacrifice will one day no longer be necessary.

Even If Your Religion Says It's Right, It's Not

Sometimes I just want to smack someone up alongside their head when they say things like two people shouldn’t get married because religion says so.  Of course, that impulse is not keeping with do no harm right?  It’d be giving in to violent urges that really won’t help me make my case even if it would feel so good sometimes.  If you haven’t heard, North Carolina became the latest state to enact a law banning same sex humans from getting married because after all, that is something a law should decide right?  We should have a law that eliminates the hope of humans to pursue their happiness.  We should have a law that places one group higher and more worthy of privilege than another group right?  If someone says their religion defines marriage as one man and one woman than the opposition just needs to shut up and back off.  Invoking religion as an excuse to limit someone else’s pursuit of happiness is exactly what we should do.

Except we shouldn’t.

Ever.

A friend of mine pointed out that the last time North Carolina amended their state constitution was to ban interracial marriage.  Apparently they learned nothing from that experience.  They have forgotten the lessons taught about races and how that minuscule difference on our DNA that makes us one race and not another has absolutely no effect on intelligence or ability or competence.  It’s so tiny that in discussing the differences between humans it is largely irrelevant when considering humans as a species.  Consequently, we finally got it through some people’s thick noggins that skin color is really a stupid reason to keep people from pursuing their happiness with another person or from fulfilling their fullest potential.  When considering the biology of humans, I am willing to wager that differences between a homosexual human and a heterosexual human are even less noticeable.  Is this really the best Americans can do as humans—say I’m better than you because my religion says I am?  Preposterous!

I have no problem with people who aren’t comfortable around homosexuals.  I have no problem with people who believe in a religion.  I do have a lot of friends who fall into one or both categories.  They are entitled to their own right to privacy and religion yada yada yada.  However, when it comes to establishing laws based on religious doctrine that restrict the basic human rights of others such as the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness I get pissed.  Those human rights include equality before the law.  Therefore, if your church doesn’t want to perform a marriage for a homosexual couple, fine.  They don’t have to.  However when it comes to living in a secular society as we do, we should never vote on a basic human right like freedom of liberty to marry whoever the hell you want.  Period!

Now I heard an interesting counter to this idea of marriage as a human right.  Someone suggested that  marriage may not really be a human right.  Could it be a man made institution instead?  I actually shook my head in an attempt to understand exactly what this point was.  Somehow shaking my head vigorously would rattle my marbles into alignment to understand this notion.  Where is this distinction?  Huh?  Human rights are those items that humans agree upon as basic entitlements to everyone because they are human beings.  Marriage is not an expression of freedom of pursuing life and liberty and happiness and expression and thought?  WHAT?  Everything around us in society is a man made construct for cryin’ out loud and that includes human rights since humans are involved.  Le Duh!  After the horrors of World War II the world agreed that human beings needed to band together to protect the lives of all people who are oppressed because of gender, religion, race, and sexuality.  Do we need a homosexual holocaust to make it plain to everyone or can we agree that isn’t necessary?  There are simply some violations that humanity cannot allow to persist especially under the guise of religious freedom.  Religion is after all, a man made construct too.  I honestly do not see how one can be divorced from the other and used as a defense for legislated bigotry.  Freedom of speech protects even the most horrible statements.  People are free to practice whatever religion they want.  However when those beliefs are used to target a specific group and limit their rights to equality under the law, humans need to speak up and call bullshit. 

Religion can be beautiful.  Religions can provide a sound basis for living a good and a just life.  However when religion is used to justify oppression then it becomes a bastardization of its core belief.  When it comes to writing laws for America, religion should not enter into the discussion.  Boiling the religion out of the rules and focusing on the core ethics of the belief system reveals something remarkable; something that I have believed for years as I have been studying and pondering religions and spirituality.  All major world religions believe in some form of the Golden Rule.  Do unto others as you would have done to you.  If the tables were turned, would heterosexuals be ok being told they can’t marry?  Would they quietly accept “civil union” as an appropriate compromise?  They shouldn’t even have to consider it because we are all humans with the right to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  If two women want to get married how does that harm anyone?  If two men want to say, “I do” before a crowd of their loved ones who is harmed?  No one!  You don’t have to like it.  Your religion doesn’t have to perform it.  But your laws damned well better protect their right to marry because it’s the only just course of action.  

Neil Diamond: Spiritual Guru

Hopefully any Beltane activities were blessed and beautiful for everyone.  Mine shaped up to be quite an epiphany.  I did not intend this to happen; it just did.  I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out Beltane.  I get the symbolism.  I get the Great Rite--big personal fan of that concept.  However, I strive to maintain the balance of Beltane with the temperance of avoiding an all out orgy-astic depravity-filled bacchanalia--I want it to be personally meaningful in other words.  So as my last post suggested I wrote and performed my own ritual.  However, I did not feel as though I had truly uncovered the deeper meaning of Beltane.
I've studied Beltane cognitively.  I've always enjoyed the reports of schools where dancing around the Maypole is a class activity with a little smirk of knowledge.  I've snickered about May Day baskets that my niece or nephew make because I know that these symbols have become different over time just as so many pagan traditions.  They're not lesser mind you--just different significance for some than others. If you don't know, Beltane is all about the Sun God and the Maiden Goddess finally seeing one another across a crowded field and falling madly into the grasses consummating their union in the Great Rite so that life can begin anew.  Is there any greater holiday than one devoted to lovemaking?  Valentine's Day doesn't have anything on Beltane.
The whole Great Rite thing can easily get distorted and maligned as debauchery.  However, last night after ritual, I felt more centered.  I cast my circle, I invoked the deity images, I recited the poem, I even added a dash of off-the-cuff inspired words of gratitude and hope and oneness with the Earth.  As I ate those strawberries I delighted in their tart yet sweet juicy lusciousness.  As I drank the wine I felt energy flowing and reminding me that spring is an amazing time of hope and light and life!  It helped me get my center back.  It'd been a trying couple of weeks at work and in my personal life.  I have been feeling quite defeated, useless, frustrated.  Then ritual just snapped me into balance.  But something was not quite right yet.
I felt better.  I did.  However I just had that sensation that something was missing.  I didn't have that Eureka moment.  I had not suddenly discovered enlightenment about Beltane.
Then I came upstairs to find my husband on Facebook.
I adore my husband.  I've known him for over 20 years. In high school I did something very teenagerish and sent him a mixed tape--yes TAPE!  This was back in the day of cassettes.  You see, he had moved to the desolate plains of the Midwest and he took my fragile young heart with him.  So I did what any good teenage girl would do.  I made him a mixed tape of the sappiest, the most lovelorn, the can't be beaten love songs of my life thus far that included such heart-wrenching tracks as as "Somebody" by Depeche Mode and "Lovesong" by The Cure.  However, there was one song in particular that I put on there that I didn't think he'd know or have any connection to.  I honestly didn't think that based on what I knew about him at the time that he would even know who this artist was.  I was wrong and very glad to be wrong as well.  I put "Play Me" by Neil Diamond on the tape.
Now at the time I had no real frame of reference for the obvious sexual intent in the song.  It was just me being caught up in the glory of Neil's voice and that longing to just be held by my husband who at the time was miles away and for all I knew not thinking about me.  All of my friends will tell you--he gives great hugs. Always has.  I missed his hugs.  I missed feeling like the most beautiful girl when he looked at me.  I missed feeling him kiss me.  I missed him being with me.
Anyway, I come upstairs after ritual and he's on Facebook commenting on a video a friend of his posted which just happened to be "Play Me" set to these beautiful images of sunsets and scenery that were so calming I was swept away.  Then I saw his comment about the mixed tape and how I had included that song on it.  I started to cry.  I couldn't help it!  I'm not a cry type gal mind you, but I was just overwhelmed to come  up from ritual and see this scene unfold before me.
Suddenly--I got it.  I understood what Beltane is about for me.  For us--my husband and me really.  Beltane is about celebrating that love. For the big picture it is all about the Lord and Lady consummating their union to bring forth new life to the world.  We have no intention of bringing forth new life as in baby mind you.  Nope.  Not happening.  However Beltane at that moment was a beautiful expression of reminiscing about our history together and that innocence.  Recalling how much we as teenagers loved one another and didn't really understand the full scope of those feelings.  Swaying together and singing along with Neil: "I am the sun, you are the moon.  I am the words, you are the tune, play me."  Beltane meant celebrating our love and life together because it's been one hell of a journey.
Ritual was complete.

Beltane

Beltane

Cleanse the space and place a rosy pink cloth on the altar.  Adorn with flowers of all kinds.  Place a rosy pink candle for the ritual light.  Have a red and a white candle as well anointed with lavender.  Carve a symbol for the Goddess on the red and a God symbol on the white.  Set on altar on the appropriate sides of the space.  Maybe drink a fruit infused tea for preparation of self.  Have a sparkling wine—apple is a Goddess symbol here—and some luscious berries and creamy cheeses for the Simple Feast.  Once all is set, begin.

Cast circle

Blessing Chant

            Creative energies of Mother Earth,

            Join together with the Lady of the Moon,

            The Hunter of the Land,

            Spirits of the elemental realms,

            Within the sacred stones

            Bless this place, this time and I who am with you.

                        (adapted from S. Cunningham)

Invoke the Goddess and the God

            Mistress of love and fertility, I call upon you Maiden!  Be with me on this Beltane night.  Light the red candle.

            Champion of the forest and land, I call upon you Sun God!  Be with me in Beltane’s light.   Light the white candle.

Prayer of Beltane

Fearless Maiden of the Forest, explore in solitude spring’s path before you.

Youthful Lord of the sun wanders alone until May’s trail turns true.

Together your paths weave on sacred course.

A union blessed and consummated

Brings forth Earth’s fertile celebration of life!

These two are one and one is all,

In Beltane’s fire, passions rise and fall,

United with you, at creation’s ball,

By the law of three, so mote we be!

Simple Feast

Joyous Maiden fill this wine with your love,

Blazing Lord instill in this fruit your desire,

In the name of Maiden and Sun I bless this feast!

Release circle

           Enjoy the Great Rite with someone you love and revel in the beauty of the act of lovemaking as it is sacred, creative, and blessed. 

And the Award For Most Heretical Activity This Weekend Goes To...

My goddaughter received the trifecta of sacraments recently.  In our diocese second graders are now the recipients of reconciliation, communion and confirmation all at once.  When I went through them it was a progression—second grade=communion, fourth grade=reconciliation, and junior year was confirmation.  My misgivings and disagreement with the change of confirming second graders who probably don’t really appreciate all that confirmation means aside, this was my niece’s big day.  She had on a gorgeous little white satin dress with pearl accents, white tights, and low heel sandals along with a flower in her hair unlike the other girls who almost all opted to wear veils.  I, as her godmother, attended my first Catholic-non funeral mass in ages.

Attending mass with the family always brings up pesky questions like, “Will I be struck by lightning when I walk in” or “How big of a deal will this be to my mother” or “Do I receive communion?”  All of these run through my head whenever I consider attending mass.  My mom did make the joke about how the building didn’t get burnt down when my husband and I walked in.  Now, I choose to believe that this was a lighthearted ribbing.  I could be overly sensitive and react to it indignantly, but what’s the point?  Far better to look at it as a simple joke.  So I do.  Then there was communion—to receive or not to receive.  Such a quandary.  At the Methodist church I attended some years ago, the minister always made a statement that all present were welcome at God’s table meaning that even if you haven’t received the Catholic required sacrament of first communion or even if you were from a different church or faith, you should still feel welcome to partake.  No such statement at this mass even though the Catholic viewpoint is that any Christian is welcome.  I was listening for the invite too, but it never came.

 Interesting point if you don’t know, but Catholics actually believe in the mystery that the bread and wine is transformed into the body and blood of Christ.  I know plenty who don’t really believe that, but that is also the official stance of the sacrament and is one of the qualifying rules for receiving communion.   You must believe it or you shouldn’t receive communion.   Rather grody if you consider it.  Church sanctioned cannibalism?  Ew!  No thank you!  For those of us less inclined toward literal interpretation, it’s a symbolic ritual. I found an article that provides a succinct explanation of the rules regarding communion.  Despite the fact that I satisfied almost none of those rules, I went to receive the body of Christ anyway.  Maybe it was stubbornness, but there's definitely more to it than flipping the bird at the ways of the Catholic Church.  I didn't do it as an affront at all.  I'll get into more of the actual reason in a minute.  Until then, enjoy a little trip down memory lane with me.

Growing up, my dad would always stand off to the side of the pew and allow my mom, my sister and I to go up the aisle first; it was a rather gentlemanly gesture on his part.  During this service though, he waited for mom, but not for me to join the line and walk up to the altar.  I didn’t really think much on it until later.  Was this some sort of slight?  Was my father willfully excluding me by closing the gap and not waiting for me?  Maybe, but again I tend to think better of him than that.  I want to believe that it was just due to his not having been to service with me in a while and he’s out of practice.  It honestly didn’t strike me as anything otherwise until much later in the day when I was reflecting on the day; then I had to wonder.  Either way though, it really doesn’t matter why he did it because he is free to express his opinion one way or the other.  I would rather believe well about him though and therefore I won’t read anything into it more than what it was.  I can’t imagine him intentionally doing something like that to hurt me.  So, I received communion much to my husband’s surprise. 

Now, if you read that article up above, receiving communion in the Catholic Church means a lot. It means you are to meet those criteria and if you don’t, you offend God by receiving communion.  Hmm…the rafters didn’t shake or come crashing down.  The priest didn’t ask me if I had sinned lately and I didn’t have to present an ID for communion.  Did I offend God?  According to church teaching yes I did.  My bad.  However, I liken communion to the portion of a circle called cakes and ale.  Giving thanks for the bounty and ingesting food and drink to ground us and to balance us is not unlike taking in the body and blood except there’s no ritual cannibalism by (*gasp)magic nor is there purity control prior to ingestion beyond preparation of self.  If I was to participate in a circle with non-Wiccans present, I would invite them to partake of my simple feast.  I would gladly welcome them in the celebration.  I guess that is something I wanted my goddaughter to see.  Even though her aunt doesn’t attend church, she can still eat at God’s table.  I don’t want her growing up thinking that God doesn’t welcome all of his children to be present with Him.    I don’t think Christ would’ve turned someone like me away.  One of the things the priest made clear when I went through confirmation classes was that it’s not for me to judge anyone else’s commitment or worthiness—that was up to God to handle.  So if my mom meant more by her dig or if my dad really did intend to exclude me, that’s their right, but it’s also their problem to resolve with God.  As for me, I’ve examined my conscience and I’ve reasoned it through and I cannot say for certain—neither can anyone else—what is in God’s mind.  I know that when I heard God or Lord etc during mass, I would mentally add Goddess or Lady as well.  I know that after studying and considering all the angles and information set before me that the image of God I want my goddaughter to know is one of love and acceptance of all.  Most importantly, I do not want her to turn up her nose in judgment to anyone of another faith or belief all the while insisting that she and the other Catholics had cornered the market on rightness.  Knowing why you agree or disagree with a religion’s teachings is vital in my opinion.  While I am sure she has no idea yet why  this would even be an issue for me or my parents or anyone else, at least she will have the memory that I was there for her big day and I did participate in all aspects of the service without a holy bolt of smite striking me down.  One day she may be ready for the conversation, but not yet.

Strictly speaking, I am a rampant heretic.  I have offended God gravely.  I should rush to confession.  Yet, here I sit ruminating, writing, editing and feeling quite at peace with things as they are.   Honestly, how and why do those self-described Catholic-Pagans do this?  When I read that article up above, it reminded me of all the rules regarding communion and what it means to be Catholic.  It reminded me of all I had learned growing up by passing through the sacraments.  Now after 20 or so years of meditations on the topic I believe that religions can provide beauty and wonder and morals.  I believe that the mythology of religions can be highly instructive tools for young people to learn how to listen to and follow their conscience.  They can also be very destructive tools to promote misogyny and abuse and bigotry.  I do not believe that the Catholic Church is home for me.  I’ll just pack up my heretical tools and keep moving through this existence as best I can with as much love as I can for all people, even those who disagree or judge me.  I have no need to be right in this argument.  That’s not important to me.  What is important to me is knowing who I am and why I make the choices I make regardless of any mythology.  That way, if my goddaughter is ever ready for that conversation, I can engage her with the benefit of my experience and deeply reasoned beliefs. 

So That Was Easter

As time has passed and I have moved farther away from any kind of organized religion, Easter has not retained its magical nature for me the way Christmas has.  I love Christmas--the lights, the carols, the food--all of it.  Maybe because of time of year and the wonder of the holiday brings some life to the otherwise bleak winter.  Perhaps.
This Easter we had what my husband refers to as Atheist Duty.  You see, my parents and my sister's family attend Catholic mass together.  It becomes the responsibility of my husband and me to attend to meal preparations, watch a sick niece or nephew or as with this Easter, spend time with my 96 year old grandmother because my parents are afraid to leave her alone for the 1 1/2-2 hours while they go to mass.  She's narcoleptic and very prone to vertigo spells among other issues and I can see why they worry.  No problem.  Gives me a chance to talk and spend time with Grandma.
Any way, church service non-attendance: My mother attempted to engage me in the "I miss you at services with the rest of us and why can't you just go to Christmas and Easter Mass with us" conversation some years ago.  I admit I didn't handle that very well.  I believe I got a little irate at the suggestion.  I quite distinctly recall asking her why she thought I would ever do that since it was the Christmas and Easter only attendees that drove me batty growing up.  I really did get vexed at the increased numbers of people who only attended at the holidays so it seemed odd that my mother--who knew this--would suggest that I become one of them.  I was insulted.  If I don't attend the rest of the year, what makes these days more special?  If I don't have a strong enough faith in the belief system of the Holy and Apostolic Church to attend regularly, it make no sense to me to attend on the holidays.  I know it hurt my mother's feelings, but going to mass just to make her feel better or to assuage my guilt (Catholic remember--you can't always shake it!)  for having lost my temper just aren't enough.  I have not yet reached that level of comfort to attend a Catholic service with indifference.  There's an odd mix of residual comfort and familiarity along with outrage over with what I see as hypocrisy and immorality.   The last service I attended was my maternal grandmother's funeral where my uncle--my godfather--saw fit to tell me as I cried that my grandmother prayed every day that I'd come back to the Church.  It was one of those moments where I had to choose between lambasting him with, "Well I hope you don't waste your time like she did" or just nodding until I could have a moment to myself to scream.  I chose the latter.  You need to understand, this was my grandmother who sent me a kitchen mat/rug for my wedding.  Really--it was a maybe $15 in front of the kitchen sink rug. For my sister, she matted and framed some lace doilies she had made.  It's taken me a long time to make peace with this little dig, but my uncle's assertion that my grandmother prayed for me to come back to the Church--the implied meaning "can't you see how much it hurt her that you didn't go to church" set those feelings to boiling.  The fact that my uncle rarely engages me in any conversation via letters, email or even Facebook deepens the divide to the point where I have very little interest at all in sharing who I am or what I believe.  This is my family.
My mother has accepted the fact that I don't attend mass--at least outwardly.  I am sure it still bothers her--probably more because it reflects badly on her that I don't attend church, but still.  She hasn't mentioned it for some time.  She has however started asking questions or making statements about other beliefs and points of view.  I don't think she's quite ready to accept me being Pagan mind you, but she made an interesting comment this Easter about how she recognizes the Pagan origins of Christmas, but that she still thinks Easter is distinctly Christian.  Perhaps--depending on how you look at it.
Anyone on Yahoo last week probably saw this article about how the date for Easter is set.  By this it is evident that a celestial event is used to set the date of Easter and the variable nature of the Easter date is now explained.  I have to wonder why the date was set according to the moon whereas Christmas is a fixed date.  I know Christmas set more closely along with Pagan days like Yule and Saturnalia, but why not so with Easter?  It seems a strange way to set dates for one of the faith's most cherished celebrations.  I didn't bring this up though.
I also didn't explain about the Easter Bunny or the eggs as being Pagan either.  Again, this was one of those things I had to investigate when I began reflecting on being Catholic.  What the hell does a bunny, an egg and a bunch of chocolate and candy have to do with Jesus dying and rising from the dead three days later?  Well duh!  Those are all the trappings of Pagan and secular beliefs.  Looking just at the symbols, eggs are fertility representing the potential for a rebirth.  According to Pagan belief the Sun God is awakening from the winter darkness and takes notice of the Goddess--this sets in motion the mythology that will lead to the eventual uniting of the God and Goddess at Beltane.  An article in my Facebook news feed on Easter presented a lot of my own associations and beliefs about the holiday.  I loved her remark that, "It mattered not to me if this was myth.  I embraced the symbolic meaning behind it all."  Non-Christians and yes, many atheists I know like to poke fun at Christian Easter myth as being the zombie Jesus story.  I laugh too, but the myth is important this time of year if you look beyond the walking dead savior.  The young son (not sun anymore) God died and is resurrected just like the Sun in Pagan myth died in the winter and was reborn.  Both Sun and Son now go out into the world again to bring new life.  Easter distinctly Christian?  Not absolutely as far as I can reason.  Even the celebration of the Jewish seder reflects on the idea of moving from slavery to freedom--darkness to light--death to life.  Members are encouraged to invite people from outside their family and faith to partake in what is moving and hallowed ritual recognizing a new life of freedom.  There might not be bunnies and eggs, but there is an abundance of symbolism in every aspect of the rite which educates about the Jewish faith while also reflecting on the themes common to much of humanity: compassion, kindness, respect for children (children are expected and encouraged to ask questions to deepen their knowledge).
Even my atheist and agnostic sites sent me unique items in my news feed that reinforced my belief that if we'd all just stop having to be right all the time we might discover some fascinating similarities. Neil deGrasse Tyson explains the difference between agnostic and atheist, Cheney gives a rubric for atheist versus believer with some interesting quotations to explain the ratings, and Jason Gots reminds us of the important three beliefs that humanity almost universally accepts even without referring to religions.  Again--no bunnies or eggs, but there's the inclination to respect another belief system and to recognize that humanity should be able to agree on some fairly basic guidelines.
I may have missed an opportunity to engage in a meaningful conversation to educate my mother on Easter and the season and all it has to offer.  She seems content in her beliefs for now.  I hope if there is a next time I can speak up thoughtfully, objectively and respectfully. I also hope that if she and others like her have questions, they seek out answers from as many sources as it takes.

My New Ostara Ritual

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow night.

Hold outside if possible.  If not possible, have a living plant on the altar.  Decorate altar with flowers, edible seeds, and a green cloth.  Symbols of the God are important since this day celebrates his return to earth and his increasing awareness of the Goddess.  Incense that is flowery or herbal is best.  White candles and pastel colors are important.  Eggs represent the potential for life as do the seeds.  This is a time to feel the earth awakening and readiness to burst forth the life of the season.

Cast circle- bless and consecrate the water, salt, set incense and candle burning

Recite blessing:

            I call upon the renewing energies of the earth,

            The life-spring of the planet come forth!

            Rejoice with the Lord of the Hunt and the Lady of the Moon,

            And together with the elemental realms attune!

            Entwine with one another, surround this space,

            Rain blessings within, among, and around the earthly base.      

Invoke Goddess and God

            Maiden Lady, beautiful Goddess of nighttime skies,

            Join and offer your abundant blessings to this Ostara rite.

            Young God, rise from your slumber and begin to burn,

            Join and offer your fiery blessings on Ostara’s turn.

Feel the energies of the earth either through contact with the plant or through the soil if you are outside.  

            Mother earth, I feel the heat of the God rising through you!  Your energies rise          together to free us all from winter’s chill. Light and dark in balance with the Lord and Lady to renew, regenerate, rejoice!  On this paper my goals are three: creativity to           solve the problems we face, peace for the tribulations of the world, and an end to     suffering of all living things.  Take them into the fire and set them free as the world awakens to spring!

Light paper on fire and place in cauldron to burn out.   Meditate on the changing season.  Celebrate the Simple Feast.  Close circle.