Despite the Initial Reluctance, Tuesday Turned Out OK

I've received a lot of good advice lately.  Mainly because I know awesome people and they read my blog.

www.lukeyishandsome.com 

I must have amazing luck.  Thanks guys.

I know I set out to choose happiness with my blog this year.  However, no one is happy all the time unless they are on something illegal.  I still believe that I can choose happiness, which is perhaps why this last while presented such a dilemma for me.  To deny those emotions like sadness, grief, and despair is to deny what makes us human.  For all things in this world, there is a balance.  When that balance is not honored, then we run the risk of simply stuffing that so-called "bad" emotion into a garbage can until that garbage can is overflowing.  What comes out at that point is so distorted, mangled and exaggerated that Vesuvius looks like a touch of hot weather.  Sometimes we must allow ourselves to feel the emotion.  It's not like I'm starting a pity party where all I do is cry and eat mint chocolate chip ice cream and watch all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer from start to finish.  I do enjoy a spot of killing demons in Diablo though.  It's therapy.

 

fanpop.com

Although watching Buffy kick some vampire ass is also very cathartic at times.

I take my job and its responsibilities very seriously.  Maybe too seriously.  The worst thing I could do is to harm one of my clients in some way.  I want to know what I do is right.  I want to believe that what I am doing enhances their lives.  I want to come home at night and feel satisfied with the day's work I've put in.  I need to feel valued and trusted and effective.  I felt none of that last week or over the weekend.

 

I also need spring to get here so I can start riding my bike again.  It's a great way to process the muck that transpires some days.

coolmelbourne.org

Not really, but wouldn't that be the best bike ever?

  I'm not sure what the next step is for me.  I know that I got word that my trial contract was canceled because I successfully completed my article.  I have not word whether that means they will ask me to write more.  Who knows?  Spring semester on my tutor gig is proving slow.  I suppose I don't have to volunteer to take the time off when the queue is slow, but I have been.  It's probably been in my best interest to slow down a bit.  It does tell me though that as far as a full time gig is concerned, it might be difficult to make ends meet that way.  I'll figure it out.  I have time to ponder. At least I made it through Tuesday without being called a twat.