In a few hours I get to do one of my most favorite things ever: belly dance.
I started belly dance about five years ago as part of my master's degree. Weird right? Well it was a self-assignment field project that turned out to be so much fun I stayed with it. Now I can dance with a sword balanced on my head, with fans, with a silk veil, with silk veil fans, Isis wings, or my favorite, zills. Tonight we get zills(finger cymbals)and my new pair are making their debut. I'm rather stoked.
When I started, the prospect of dancing in public scared the snot out of me. I had no intention of ever being one of the Dimitri's dancers. Dimitri's is the Greek restaurant where we dance. The owners, Jim and Jodi, are fantastic. They give us Greek coffee beforehand and they welcome us into their family to the point of asking us to dance at a family wedding. It's a great relationship; one that I value highly and I hope never to disappoint them.
Anyway, even though I am a performer at heart, dancing in public in the revealing and ever so sparkly outfits terrified me. Not only did the idea of my bare belly and bust being on display make me incredibly self-conscious, but I never intended for my master's project to turn into a part of my life that I would be devastated to give up. Belly dance was my way to get back into the arts and it was supposed to get me comfortable in my body again. Mission accomplished. What I didn't expect was everything else that it brought.
It's brought me some friendships that I probably never would have built otherwise. I am awfully introverted and a bit of a homebody, so making new friends is rather challenging. Now I have this circle of female friends who make me so very happy. I love watching them develop their skills. Seeing them each perform is never dull. Each time we perform they get more and more comfortable and skillful and their beauty inspires me. They're also just nice people! It's refreshing to be in an arts group that isn't more interested in one-upping each other or outdoing or being mean to one another. We are supportive and encouraging and we even travel together in the Shimmy Wagon (a minivan). We like one another. It's awesome.
Belly dance has also brought out my confidence. After the whole autoimmune disorders that plague both my husband and me were diagnosed, I withdrew into myself even further. Then some groups I was a part of turned ugly and backbiting ran rampant. It was a very unpleasant time. I felt depressed, anxious, and trapped in my achy and unattractive body. Then, I started dancing with this small group of women once a week in the basement of the YWCA. As I learned drop hips, snake arms, and shimmies, I began to see myself in a way that I never had before: I was beautiful.
Now I can't imagine my life without dance. I love the costumes, the people, the moves and I even love my body. It does some pretty damned amazing things that I never thought possible.
Yalla habibi!
No comments:
Post a Comment